Beside You

Chapter 9 - What?!

I woke up this morning with swollen eyes and it’s all fro the crying that I did last night. Makeup did all the work and now it’s not that obvious that I bawled my eyes out.

Is it crazy that I still believe that he will come back? That he will realize that he should have not let me go? Wanna know what’s stupid? It’s when people say the words, ‘If you love someone, set them free.’ because if you love someone, you’d do everything to make your relationship longer. Maybe I’m the most stupid girl in this generation for letting him leave me.

Now, we’re on the cafeteria again and of course, Xavier sat on a different table, with his teammates. I can’t help but look at him and in a few seconds, he also looked at me, causing for me to look away. I think he still loves me. Judging by the way that he stared back. It’s so tempting to look again but I must not.

How will I tell my friends that we broke up last night? Well, Calum is not around so I suppose I can say it now?

"Why is Xavier not sitting with us today?" Michael asked, as if he was reading my mind.

"Uhh, because we…" I mumbled, not knowing the right words to say.

Aleisha narrowed her eyes on me. “Hold on a minute,” She says and stared on my food, then at Xavier. She knows me all too well. “You haven’t touched your food, he’s not sitting right next to you and holding your hand, and you’ve been staring at him every 15 seconds?” she paused. “You guys broke up.” Aleisha said expertly. 

"WHAT?!" Everybody else said in unison, including Calum who just arrived and I did not even realize.

Calum turn my head to face him snappily. He looked into my eyes as if he’s examining me. “You’re wearing makeup and you don’t wear makeup unless you have a date or you cried all night long. That asshole made you cry.” he dropped his bag and walked his way to the table where Xavier and his teammates are sitting.

That made me get off my seat and follow him. He grabbed Xavier by his shirt and then their faces are like 5 inches away. “You like hurting girls, huh? Why don’t we take this outside then you’ll get a taste of your own medicine, how does that sound?” Calum said angrily. 

Xavier was so calm. “There’s no need for that, bro.” he said nicely.

Calum had his fist ready to punch and I had to stop him. I don’t want him to hurt Xavier. He may have hurt me but that doesn’t mean I need to seek revenge. “Calum!” I shouted and I pulled his arm away from Xavier.

He ignored me. “Don’t you ‘bro’ me!!” Calum shouted again.

"Calum, let him go!" I said and he ignored me again. "Let him go or I’ll never forgive you for this." I said with a serious face.

He looked at me and he eased down a little and pushed Xavier away. I could hear him breathe heavily. “I’m sorry.” I told Xavier while looking down. 

I just can’t look at him because I know that if I had the chance to talk to him, I’d be begging for him to get back with me. Calum walked passed our table. “Where are we going?” I asked as he continued walking.

He put his hand on my back. “Somewhere away from that asshole.” and I think he’s heading to the field.

"But I left my food there!" I said and he finally stopped walking.

He looked at me. His eyebrows furrowed and he was tilting his head. For a few seconds he did that and I knew what he meant. He’s saying that I should stop making excuses to go back to the cafeteria because he know that I just want to see my ex.

"Fine." I said, finally accepting defeat.

We sat on the grass and the wind blew softly. Usually when I get sad, he would just take me to a calming place and we will not talk. We will just feel the air and let the sun shine on us while we think about a lot of stuff because if someone speaks, I usually breakdown. I’ve been staring at Calum. The wind blows through his hair while he was chewing on his hamburger and… I can’t help but….

I stared away. “Nah, I can’t stare at you. I see Xavier.” 

"So you think I’m cute?" He teased which made me laugh.

I punched his arm playfully. “No.”

He swallowed his food before speaking. “Finally breaking the rules huh? I thought we’re not allowed to speak when this happens.”

I inhaled deeply before speaking. “Nah, I’m not gonna cry. I should smile because…” I paused, remembering all the things that he said last night but of course, I can’t tell Calum that we broke up because of him. “…because everything that happened between us was wonderful. You know what I’m saying? Well, except for the break up part of course.”

Calum’s dimple appears with his laugh and he shakes his head, and then looks away. He locks his eyes somewhere and then looks at me again. “That’s crazy.” He says. “So, are you going to tell me about the break up or you’d rather not tell?”

I can’t tell him it’s because of him. I just can’t. That would be stupid. “Nah, let’s just say that we’re not meant to be together.”