Pride

8

"This was the worst mistake of my life."

Tomorrow was the pride parade. Nolan was coming with me, and I wished then that I had never invited him. Anything would be better than being this nervous.

"It was not a mistake, and you need to stop pacing. You're making me nervous."

I glanced over at Chris who was looking down at the eye palette in his hand, trying to decide the color he wanted to experiment with.

"Yeah, don't make him nervous. That won't be good for me at all." Alejandro, today's canvas for Chris' art, looked extremely at ease, even with the idea of Chris being nervous.

"He's not going to like me!"

Chris and Alejandro sighed in unison, both turning to look at me.

"He likes you, okay?" Chris said encouragingly, and Alejandro nodded.

"If he already agreed to go with you, he must like you. I agreed to go with Chris." He looked up at Chris with such a look of adoration in his dark eyes that it was almost gross. But cute at the same time.

"Listen to the man. Nolan likes you. He's so obvious." He rolled his eyes, then, having decided on his color, started to work on Alejandro's eye makeup.

"You know he's just going to have to take that off in a few hours before bed, right?" I reminded Chris.

"It's practice, Luke. It's just for fun, and to get better. Even though doing it on someone else is way harder then doing your own."

"Am I making it difficult for you?" Alejandro opened his eyes to look at Chris while he spoke.

"No, babe. You're doing perfect. Just keep your eyes closed." He tapped his nose with the end of the makeup brush, and Alejandro squeezed his eyes shut quickly.

I glanced down at my phone when it buzzed, and felt my heartbeat pick up at the sight of Nolan's name. I had given him my number the day I asked him to come to the parade, and he had messaged a few times since.

How will I be able to find you at the parade tomorrow? You sure you don't want me to pick you up first so we can go there together?

We had already talked about this the day before, and I could tell he still wasn't that happy with my decision. I wasn't trying to make things hard, I was just nervous.

"What's wrong?"

I glanced up at the sound of Chris' voice, and noticed him looking at my drawn eyebrows, concern radiating from him.

"I told Nolan that I'd meet him at the parade tomorrow, and he won't stop asking about us going together."

Chris frowned. Alejandro opened his eyes, met Chris', and a silent conversation took place between them. The result of which was Chris turning to look at me in a way I was very used to by now. This was the look that always preceded the fact that I must be wrong about whatever I had been saying at the time.

"Why wouldn't you go together? You live so close together."

"Because I don't want to! I just want to meet him there. Why is this so hard?" I shoved my phone in my back pocket, trying, unsuccessfully, to control all of my emotions.

"But, Luke, it will be really hard for you guys to find each other in a crowd, and isn't the whole point of you asking him out to spend time together?"

"At the parade."

Chris sighed, setting down his brush and palate.

"Why are you being so difficult, Luke?"

"I'm not being difficult!" I huffed in annoyance, acting exactly like a difficult child. "I just don't want to see him before the parade."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"Well, it does to me." I crossed my arms, and for a moment, we appeared to be at an impasse. Chris was looking at me in confusion.

"Luke," It was Alejandro's slow, deep voice that interrupted our quiet, and I looked over at him in surprise. "I don't know you very well, but you are Chris' best friend, so I know I will like you very much.

Even if you don't really remember me from school last yeah, I remember you, and I know that a lot has happened in your life since then. A lot of changes. Do you think that this is why you are scared of Nolan seeing you and being able to ask you about it? You'd rather leave the explanations for the parade, where it is loud and you can't talk much, yes?"

I blinked in surprise. How did he know me so well already? Chris looked at his boyfriend for a few seconds, before turning his attention back to me.

"Oh, Luke! Why didn't you tell me that that is bothering you? Is it because of your outfit for the parade?"

"I want to be proud when I go to the parade. Proud of who I am, I mean. But I-I'm so scared that when he finds out, he won't like me anymore!"

And with that, I burst into the tears I'd been trying for so long to hold back. Chris was instantly at my side, wrapping his arms around me and pulling my head to his chest.

"You've been thinking like this all week, haven't you?" I nodded, and he clicked his tongue in annoyance. "Baby, you should know by now that you're supposed to tell me everything."

"I'm sorry."

He pushed my shoulders back, and fixed me with a level stare.

"There's nothing to be sorry about. I know you are scared, but he is going to find out sooner or later, and I think you would rather be able to spend some time talking with him when you do tell him. Nolan is super sweet, and a really nice guy. He won't care."

"So, you think I should wear that flag?" I point to the flag on my nightstand that my mom had ironed and neatly folded for me.

"I think you should. And I think you should go and pick up Nolan from his house before the parade. You're the one who asked him out." He added when I looked at him in alarm. 

"B-But—"

"What's the name of this parade, Luke?"

"Uh...it's the pride parade." He smiled, grabbing the flag from off the table, and wrapping it around my shoulders. He kept his hands on m my shoulders and turned me so I was facing Alejandro's smiling face.

"Then you have no reason to go to it ashamed of who you are."

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Only one part left! I hope to have it up really soon. Sorry about how long this chapter took.