Never Be

{5}

Aria's POV

I ran as fast as I could, trying to escape the reality of it all. Ashton had been gone for 3 days now and that next to my mom, I just couldn't do it anymore. The cold night air was filling up my lungs, my legs felt like Popsicle sticks; ready to break. The wind was rushing past me, and dragging my tears with it. I probably looked like a complete mess. But I didn't care. 

I felt free.

I felt like I could let go any second, just take my feet off the ground, and it would be okay. I felt like I was flying, and nobody could stop me. 

I thought I had no idea where I was going, until my steps gradually slowed, and my breath started to steady, and I stopped and looked up. 

And I laughed. 

"Of course I would go here." I thought, 

My feet carefully climbed up each step, one by one and I climbed inside. 

I let the silence surround me as I sat there, breathing in the world. 

Then I reached into my pocket and pulled out my blade. And as the stars shined brightly above me, the families slept beneath me, and the wind blew next to me, I cut. 

I cut. 

And I cut. 

I watched the blood ooze out of my wrists. 

I saw my tears wash away the blood. 

And I screamed out. 

I screamed out for help. 

I screamed out my pain.

I cut my thighs, my wrists. I cut over the previous scars, and felt my wrists go numb. 

Just what I need, no feeling at all. 

"Aria!" Ashton screamed at the doorway. His face looked absolutely broken, drained. 

He dropped to the ground and screamed out in complete pain. 

"Ashton, you need to get out." 

He looked up at me and met my eyes. "No." he said. 

The silence filled the room, and I finally dropped the blade. 

I screamed out again, I screamed out until I physically couldn't anymore.

~~~

Ashton's POV

I didn't look at her as if she was crazy, I didn't see her as a complete mess. All I saw was my sister. 

And it hurt so much you know, knowing that I couldn't save my own sister, and now I can't even save a girl from school from killing herself. 

I watched her scream in pain, and I knew there was nothing for me to do except let her. 

And once she stopped, she looked up at me with a lost face, like a child who just lost her mother. She was completly lost, she had no idea what to do next.

And then she started to reach out for her blade. 

"Stop it Aria." I demanded 

I saw her hand return to her side and then I finally asked, "What happened?" 

And the pain returned to her eyes, the tears started up again, and she tried to tell me through her tears, "I-i," she would start, and again "It-it was l-late a-and," and she finally stopped trying and took a deep breath.

"It was my mom." 

I nodded. 

It hurt me so much to have to sit here and watch her in complete pain, and not be able to help at all. 

Then she finally got herself to stop crying and looked at me, "And that's when I realized," she started, "I literally have no motivation to save myself anymore." 

And those words echoed in my head, they were engraved in my head from that night, for Aria Rose Anderson had lost all hope in herself. 

I was on the edge of tears, but I knew I had to keep it together for her. "Why, you know there are people out there who would love to have you, there are people who need you." 

"Ashton, there are 7 billion people, the planet doesn't need me."

"But I need you." 

She shook her head no, in disapproval.

"Goddammit Aria what are you so afraid of?" 

"I'm afraid of being forgotten, because it seems everyone I get close to, ends up forgetting me."

We sat in silence, I could hear the wind rustling through the leaves, I could feel the air surrounding us. 

"Do you even know why I'm here?"

I shook my head no.

"I thought you left, I thought you were tired of me, and that you moved away finally get rid of me. I thought this tree house was the only thing I had left of you." 

I moved over next to her and held her and said, "I would never even think about leaving you, to be honest I'm more scared that you're going to leave me." 

And as the stars shined brightly above us, the families slept beneath us, and the wind blew next to us, I got the feeling that these nights were starting to be a normal thing. 

~~~

I'M SO SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN LIKE 3 MONTHS, BUT YOU KNOW NEW YEAR, NEW ME, *nervously laughs in the corner

BUT IM GONNA TRY TO START UPDATING AGAIN BECAUSE I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE I WANT THIS STORY TO GO. 

Thank you so much if this is still in your library (if it's even in anyones) and I love you all so much. I am still looking for somebody to make a trailer on youtube for me, I would give you a shoutout on here and instagram, and I would put the link to it in the book description. (and I would obviously put it at the beginning of the chapter)

If you would like to help me get more reads, tell a friend about my story or shout it out on twitter/instagram/anywhere else you would like I would love you even more (if that's possible) and I'll give you a shoutout on here! Thank you guys so much for reading, Message me if you ever need to talk, I'm always here xx Lauren

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