The Ideal and the Real

First Day of School

Hello. I'm Jill Bradley. Just turned 18. It's not really a big deal for me like everyone else. When most people turn 18, they think "YES! I'm finally free!". I don't mind about being independent at all. If you knew me well enough, you'll know I'm a very simple girl who stands out from the rest. I don't party all night or wear make-up like they do. I'm not even girly. I am determined to become an exceptional student.

I know this is one of those really boring intros a story can have. But what can I say? There isn't really anything interesting going on at the moment. I'm standing in a bus full of university students. That's right, I'm one of them. It's my first year, and today's my first day.

I'm confused out of my mind about everything right now. This is a new chapter in my life; which could either be a good or bad thing. The good thing is that I'm done high school. No more seeing all those weird people. But I do miss my younger friends a lot. The bad thing is, I don't feel like I'm ready for this transition.

You see, most people already know how to drive and work at my age. That's not the case for me. I'm way behind in life. I depended on other people to make my decisions. I just let life go by without thinking of what I really want to be when I grow up. I just wasn't in the mood to learn, or was too scared to try.

I've always been a really shy person. Afraid of what other people think. I'm afraid that if something goes wrong, it's my fault. I've had those really embarrassing moments back then and want to forget about them. I DO forget things... the important things. I tend to lose things a lot. Whatever I want to forget is stuck in my head. Ironic, right? This is the miserable life of Jill Bradley.

Okay, my life isn't as miserable as others. People I know, for instance, two of my childhood friends-- they are now in what I call "broken homes". What I mean is that one of their parents has passed away or got separated. Because of this, they just do whatever they want with their lives not thinking about the choices they've made. This led them to working in part-time jobs and getting new cars at a young age.

My siblings, have been going on with some struggles as well. I'm not going to say too much about them, but they're really personal and they affect my whole family. So I think to myself, "I'm very thankful I'm the way I am right now." But then again, the little things like what people tell me invade my mind like a infectious disease.

I'm just so sensitive. I don't like the way I look most of the time. I mean, no one has really noticed me or anything. I never really had the looks or charm. I'm just a girl who loves being behind the camera.

When the bus stopped at its destination, each student got off one at a time. It was a very long wait, I tell you. It felt like New York all over again. I traveled there around my 18th birthday and celebrated it there. It was the best time ever! I wish I could go back. I was wearing a dark blue cap and black watch I got as souvenirs. They mean so much to me.

The first thing I need to do is to find my classes.

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The way my classes were laid out is much different from my high school. There weren't even desks, just seats with a small table attached to it for a notebook or laptop. I don't have either of those things at the moment. I'll have to stop by the book store later to buy a notebook. I don't think I need a laptop until later in my school years. I know there are always better ones out every year. I just do! Technology advances like crazy. Once a new electronic device comes out, the majority of the developed world would have a burning desire for it. I learned not to make this mistake. Since I only had two classes today, I had a lot of free time. Nothing to study for yet, so time to get some books!

---

I walked downstairs in my building because that was where my locker was. It took me a million tries to open it! I even needed someone's help. I feel so new after being done with high school. This place feels like New York all over again. Many people walking around all the time. Of course, the next thing I have to do is to get books for class. I checked all my course outlines to find them.

It took about five minutes to get to the book store, which was inside the main school building. It was HUGE. It sells pretty much everything. Okay, ALMOST everything. They have school merch, school supplies, all sorts of books... yes please! I smiled with my eyes closed. Shopping is one of the things I love to do. The time I stopped smiling was when the crowds of people took over. I walked over the back of the store to find some textbooks. When I did, I saw how expensive they were. Some were over a hundred dollars! I took a little pamphlet explaining why they were priced like that. The answer was simple: the textbooks were so specific about a course and there was very little demand for them.

Alright, I thought as I looked down on my list. This is the last book I need. The one for Film Studies. It's called The Better Picture.

I carry my basket with a lack of strength. It was too heavy for me. After endless wandering and asking the store people where all my other books are, I suddnenly found it. There was only one copy left. I had to run just in case.

As my hand reached for the book, I felt like someone else was about to grab it. It was a guy who seemed slightly taller than my sister, with dirty blond hair and large, blue glasses. We both grabbed the book at the same time, but also let go of it at the same time. It fell hard on the floor.

I complained. "Are you BLIND? I was here first. Watch where you're going!"

A long, awkward pause was present. Then he finally spoke up. "Sorry I didn't see you right away... well I guess these glasses don't seem to work for me anymore. I better get new ones-- wait. I just got these last Spring. I'm not blind!"

"Please give me this book, and I'll be a happy girl. It's the last one I need. You can get yours later."

"Um... I was closer to it than you are. And besides, you won't need this book until later. Today's the introduction of classes."

"No you weren't! And that means YOU can get it later. I want it now so I can review it!"

"Yes I was! And are you kidding me, this book has my passion written all over it. I have a lot of experience with this subject and actually took classes on it in high school. Therefore, I can have the book."

"Well, if you say you had previous experience, I should have it, because I had NO formal lessons!"

Our little fight continued on for a while that we made an unintentional scene in the bookstore. Please don't film us. Anyone. Please don't. Not even on your smartphones. Don't post it online and let it become viral.

Then I ended off the fight by saying this: "I wouldn't want to be stuck in a CLASS with you! Go ahead, pick up that book and walk away from me. You're too awkward."

But then I realize that in a way, I was awkward myself. That guy said he took classes on it during high school. Man, I wished my high school offered them. I was stuck taking a cooking class just to fill that void in. It was okay, I guess. Learning how to cook is a practical skill.

Shouldn't I have the book instead? What was I thinking, giving it to him and losing the battle? This is what I need to improve: never give up on something I really want. But I just did. And now I regret it.