The Ideal and the Real

The Exchange District

I saw Lucas leave me to go to the Bushwell building for his next class. What made him freeze on the way there? Why didn't he tell me straight up that he had to go to the bathroom? What was with his odd body language? He raises all these questions in my mind. It seems like he's more awkward than I am. But I am awkward around most people. It's because people don't accept me for who I am. I'm afraid of talking to the more outgoing girls. They talk about stuff I don't care about. That's why I didn't make any friends who are girls here. My own kind! I have Lerland and Lucas so far, but I need to make friends with GIRLS this time. Not just any girl, though. She should be someone I can trust when things go wrong. No luck here yet.

I've acted like myself around Lucas because I believe we kind of have the same shy and awkward personality. We both love film. I can't wait to discuss my favourite movies with him. There are a lot of things we could talk about, like how life is like for him. Like places we've been to before. Even technology. The possibilities are endless.

Is this how it is to have a crush on someone? You suddenly get this urge to talk to that one guy you like when the opportunity comes. But I have to be very careful, because one wrong move can ruin everything forever. Even though Lucas wouldn't be the type of guy to say no, I still have to watch what I say and how I act. He'll be in class with me starting on Monday and I don't know if I'll be ready for that. These feelings are taking me over.

I have made it to one of the science buildings to get to my last class of the day. It wasn't a science class, however. It was math. My worst subject ever.

...

My last class was pretty boring and complicated. Everything about it confused me. I asked so many questions on the lesson but it was still unclear to me. There were two girls on either side of me, but all they did was text or talk to their friends beside them. Great. I don't think I'll ever make any (girl) friends.

I sat on one of the benches in front of the Bushwell building hoping that Lucas would come out. There he was talking to another guy who was slightly shorter than him. The guy looked like he just got a haircut. His dark brown hair was very short and clean, unlike Lucas's slightly longer and slightly messy hair. Glad he's making new friends.

When Lucas saw me, he and the other guy walked over to say hello.

"I'd like you to meet Jill," Lucas said to the guy. Then he turned back to me. "Jill Bradley, this is Tim Matthews."

Tim wanted me to shake his hand. So I did. "Hello. Tim. Nice to meet you."

Tim smiled. "Glad to meet you too! Have you and Lucas known each other for a while?" He had a deep voice that sounded pleasant to my ears.

I shook my head. "No. Actually, we only met today." I didn't want to tell him about the awkward book store experience we had on the first day.

"Well that's a great start! I'm sure you and Lucas will have a great friendship. Lucas has been telling me so much about you. He told me that he wonders if you have ever wanted to fly to the moon. Basically if you like anything about space in general. That's what our class is about! So do you?"

Lucas talked to Tim about me! Whoa. I thought I wasn't that interesting. Then I thought about it for a second. "The moon seems like an awesome place to stop by, but it would get pretty lonely to stay there for long. Sights that are out of this world- pun actually intended- can't hold a candle to the socialization you and the people you care about have on this earth. Sure, I think outer space is cool, but I'm content with staying here."

"You explained your statement very well," said Tim. "I admire you for that." He turned to Lucas. "Lucas, do you agree with me?"

Lucas nodded his head in agreement. "Yeah."