Blood Ward

Chapter 16

When I awoke hours later, Stefanwas sitting next to me, his head resting on his palms. I stirred andhe looked up. "Ana! My love, are you okay?"

"I am fine," I assured him,holding back tears that threatened to betray me. Because I had beenreckless, I'd lost our child.

Just then, Reif stepped in."You're awake," he said, knowing through our bond before evercoming in.

"You!" Stefan stood and facedReif. "This is your fault... You talked her into this!"

"Stefan, no!" I said, sittingup and drawing both their attention. "I wanted to go..." I wasstill weak and feeling dizzy. I was angry. Stefan had no right toblame Reif for any of this.

"Stasia, please, it's okay.He blames me for not stopping you, as he would have." Reif saidcoming over and gently pushing me back down.

Stefan glared at Reif, obviouslylooking for a fight and not getting one. Before he could say anythingmore, Beri walked in. "Good, you're awake. The mage has beeninsufferable, asking after you."

I couldn't help smiling. "Couldyou send him in... and if these two want to fight, get them out ofhere..."

"Ana..." Stefan started.

"We'll talk later..." Isaid forcefully.

He shut his mouth and I watchedReif wait pointedly for him to leave first. With a look that said hewas just outside if I needed him, Reif stepped out after Stefan. Berirolled her eyes. "Your men are odd..."

I smiled. "Thank Daeron forme," I said as she left the tent.

No sooner had Beri left, Andersburst in and nearly flew to my side. "How are you feeling, littlewarrior?" he asked.

"The pain has passed." Ismiled bitterly.

"The physical pain..." hesaid, taking in my expression.

"I'm not sure how to feel,"I admitted.

To my surprise, Anders climbedinto the cot next to me and hugged me close to him, and to my evenbigger surprise, I was glad he did. It should have been Stefan there,comforting me after this kind of loss, but I couldn't ever tellStefan. It would crush him. I would have to be strong... for both oursakes. "You've suffered, little warrior... and your knight... hewouldn't understand. I amsorry." His words were soft and exactly what I needed to hear.

"I didn't even realize," Isaid. "I was so busy with... everything... that I never even knewuntil it was too late."

"You are a strong woman... yourlife is not meant to be spent bearing children... at least not yet.You have too much to do before settling down," he pointed out."Maybe it was that you didn't wantto know."

I thought on it silently. Anderswas right. At this point if I'd learned was pregnant, I wasn'tsure I would be happy. My situation was not one for raising children,and as I thought on it further, lying there with Anders holding me, Iwasn't even sure anymore that if I were ever to have children itwould be with Stefan. Sure, I loved him, but there was some things Ijust couldn't share with him, or that he just wouldn't everunderstand about me.

I let Anders hold me for a fewminutes before saying, "You're right, although Stefan would seeit differently." I sighed.

"Stefan does not see you forthe woman you are... He wants you to be the woman you were. He wantsyou to be Valkyrie, a proper, primped, helpless damsel. That justisn't you, Ana." I could hear the smile in his voice.

"I think once Daeron recovers,we should set off for Banaila. Valkyrie must be warned..." Isighed.

"Always moving." He sighedtoo. "Such a force to be reckoned with, little warrior..."

"I need to do something,"I said. "Lying around is not an option."

"I know... just rest for now...I'll come get you when Daeron wakes," he said sitting up.

"No," I said. "I'mgetting up. I've rested enough. Would you care for some exercise?"

"Maybe Reif would be abetter choice to spar with. I don't think throwing magic at you rightnow is such a good idea." He smirked.

"Yes. If he hasn't come toblows with Stefan yet," I sighed.

"All seems quiet," hesaid helping me stand. I caught my balance and smiled.

"Thank you Anders," Isaid. "You always know exactly what I need."

"I'm here to serve." Hegrinned, bowing.

We walked out of the tent and Iglared at Stefan and walked toward Reif who was sitting outside histent in the secluded area he'd chosen. He looked up as I approached."You're okay?" his eyes flicked to Stefan.

I nodded. "Would you like togive me a little work out?"

He smiled. "You wouldn'trather duel your Stefan?"

"Not now," I said. "I'mreally not sure right now where I stand with him..."

"Who am I to refuse?"he stood to join me.

It was a few more hours beforeDaeron was up and Reif gave me a good work out. I felt relaxed andmuch more comfortable with my situation. We pulled up camp and setoff for Banaila. Stefan kept trying to get close to me and talk, butI kept War Chaser at a brisk pace. By nightfall, we were out of theway of Lunda and it was safe to set up camp again. We ate dinner andeveryone else retired. I sat on my log, staring into the fire andwaiting for the conversation I'd been avoiding all day. "Ana...Did I say something wrong?"

I sighed. "It wasn't justone thing," I admitted. I was finally coming around to the factthat Stefan and I just weren't really meant to fit. Our personalitieswere simply too different. "You expect me to sit by and staysafe. I just can't do that when I can help."

"I just don't want to loseyou... Then you throw yourself into these reckless situations and getyourself hurt. When Reif carried you into camp this morning, Icouldn't breathe..." he said.

His statement touched my heart,but I couldn't let him get to me. I was finally ready to let him go.He was an integral part of my party, but I could no longer keep himin my heart. "I'm so sorry Stefan. I just can't anymore. I loveyou, I always will, but we're just too different."

He was silent for a few momentsas a slew of emotions played over his face. Finally, he lowered hiseyes and said, "If that's how you feel..."

"It is," I said sadly.

"You can have the tent,"he offered.

"No," I said. "I...I think I have a place..."

"Anders?" he askedsoftly.

I frowned. "What?... No,"I said.

"I'm not stupid, Ana,"he sighed.

"I don't know what you'retalking about," I said standing.

"You know... Forget I saidanything," he said angrily. "Do what you wish." Heturned and slapped aside the tent flap and went inside.

I hadn't wanted him angry withme. I never thought he'd jump to the conclusion that something wasgoing on with me and Anders. I turned and walked slowly toward Reif'stent. Opening the flap I asked meekly, "Can I join you?"

"Stasia?" he lookedsurprised.

I stepped inside and saw he waswearing only his pants. The tattoo on his neck trailed down andsnaked around his chest and back. "I don't know where else togo..." I said, stray tears coming down my cheeks.

"You've left Stefan?"he asked standing and reaching for his shirt.

"Don't..." I requested.His skin sang to me, drawing me closer. I was still crying when Isank into his embrace, resting my cheek on his shoulder. My skintouching his was right.

"You are welcome to sleephere whenever you need to," he said softly. "Did you wantto talk about it?"

I shook my head. "Just holdme," I whispered.

He let me go and sat on theground. Pulling a blanket down, he beckoned me to join him. I laydown, snuggling my back close to his chest. His arm wrapped around mywaist. I was tired from all I'd gone through that day and I feltmyself dozing off quickly.