Blood Ward

Chapter 32

I don't know how long I criedor how long Anders held me, but I must have eventually fallen asleep.I woke, back in my tent, all my weapons cleaned and placed next tome. I sat up and prepared myself to face everyone. My grief squeezedtightly in my chest made it hard to breathe. The only weapon I donnedwas the dagger that had been a gift from Stefan. I stepped silentlyfrom the tent and Anders met me. "We were waiting for you," hesaid softly.

He took my hand and I allowed himto lead me a little ways into the woods to a small clearing. There,they had built a small funeral pyre and Stefan's body laypeacefully atop it. He'd been cleaned up and it gave the illusionhe was asleep. I knew better. Everyone stood around with solemnexpressions as I approached the pyre. Anders took up a quiet vigil atmy back as I silently said my goodbyes. When I'd had enough, Ibacked into his chest and he put solid, protective hands on myshoulders. "Do it," I whispered sadly.

He led me away from Stefan'sbody to stand at a safe distance. I glanced around at everyone elseand realized I was not alone. All of my companions had tears in theireyes. Stefan had been our comrade, our friend, our family. We allfelt his loss. I saw Lúthiel sobbing into Aelairwen's shoulder asthe other girl comforted her. Daeron looked choked up as he stoodnext to a stone faced Beriima. The guilt and sadness warred over herface. Reif was close by, I could feel him watching. His grief wasslipping all around me as he fought to contain it. When Anders wavedhis hand and small, swirling bursts of flame danced beautifullytoward the pyre, Lúthiel sobbed out loud. The pyre caught and beganto burn and Beast let out a terrible grief pitched howl that made mecringe.

We watched as Stefan's bodydisappeared behind the thick smoke and tall flames. "I can't dothis anymore," I whispered. The look on my face was almost as hardas Beri's.

Anders took my hand and squeezed."We'll be okay," he whispered. I even heard him choking backtears and Stefan and he had never really gotten along. Beast paddedover and lay at my feet, whimpering softly.

I was finished. I'd cried mytears. Now, all I could do was give myself some time to let the losssettle into the background. I couldn't watch any longer. I spun onmy heels and started back toward camp. Beast followed me closely, butAnders remained, understanding my need for solitude. I had to figureout what I wanted to do next. I was lost without a goal to drive meforward. I traipsed the woods, looking for direction.

"You'll want to inform PrinceBrian he has a siege to plan."

I jumped, spinning around to lookfor the source of the voice. "Hello?" I called, my daggerautomatically in my hand.

"You won't need that, mylady," Stefan stepped from behind a tree, beaming at me. "Youwouldn't get very far stabbing a ghost."

Beast was looking up at mequestioningly as if I should point out the danger he didn't sense.I gaped at Stefan. He was the epitome of the man I'd known beforeall of this. Bright, intelligent, blue eyes, a wide, teasing grin anda look that said he was up to something that would get us in troublelater. "How?" I gasped, my dagger still bare in my hand.

"Oh, don't look sosurprised," he scoffed. "Like you weren't expecting somethingunexpected to happen."

"That is the definition of theword," I sighed, sheathing my dagger.

"Who are you speaking to?"Reif asked appearing just behind Stefan.

"Gotta go." Stefan winked anddisappeared.

I frowned and glanced around."Myself, apparently." I sighed again.

"Are you alright?" Reifasked, approaching me and stepping in the same exact spot that Stefanhad just occupied. He was frowning, his forehead wrinkled in concern.He was looking around and sniffing the air much like Beast. Had Ireally seen Stefan, or was I truly losing my mind?