Frigid | Namgi ✓

Floor Three: It's Ingrained...

A/N: Just so you all know.

I'm working on another story. FUCK ME

FUCKMEWHYDO I START ALL THESE PROJECTS

lololool

izzy 

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Rumbles left the leaf-boy's stomach rather loudly. 

In his mind he was spy, a scope for food. While Namjoon rested back at the frozen beef, he was on a mission to find any kind of sustenance. 

His tired legs carried him around the floor, where he saw many things. To his dismay, though, none of them were very exciting.

To his left sat a row of beer cans. Which he would totally be up for consuming, if they could manage to get them open...maybe another time.

To his right he saw a giant pickle jar, which he knew would be another miracle to open. Who made pickle jars out of glass and rude plastic covers? How were babies and the elderly supposed to enjoy a nice pickle if the damn things were inaccessible?

Yoongi sighed, bored with the foods he saw so far. The owner of this fridge must be some poor college kid like him.

Doing a barrel roll off to the side (in order to strengthen the role he was playing in his mind) Yoongi brushed himself off and looked up.  He finally saw something that gave him hope.

A giant loaf of bread!

Covered in delectable plastic, easy to tear, and even simpler to eat!

He ran up to the brown plastic-wrapped bag. Brown eyes scanned the packaging fast, and his hands clenched and unclenched in excitement.

It wasn't just any bread...it was cinnamon raisin!

"Yeeeesss! Fuck, ye-eeess!"

Yoongi twirled around while singing. His stomach was singing too, he realized, when its rumbling became louder. His mouth watered expectantly as he placed his hands on the big bolded words.

cinnamon raisin

"Wow...this is nice. Joon will love this!"

Glancing quickly at his untrimmed nails, he squatted down to resume the spy position he was originally going for. He grasped the wrist of his right hand tightly. 

"Mission Get That Bread commence...yes, sargeant, the nail maneuver is in motion--I repeat-"

Yoongi, while in the midst of cutting a clean hole through the plastic with only his pointer finger nail, cried out when his nail took a detour.

"My nail broke! Fuck!"

Internally, he slapped himself for breaking character. Squinting his eyes and straightening the leaf-cuffs of his spy outfit, he stalked around the delectable bread, thinking.

"Sargeant...mission failed. We ran into failing infrastructure...yes, I assure you, it won't happen again..."

Yoongi placed his invisible walkie talkie back into his side pocket. His stomach was going crazy now, both with hunger and with disappointment that he couldn't pull off the cool move he saw James Bond or Anakin Skywalker do in the movies. He just wanted to cut a clean hole in the side-

"What...is that?"

The sophomore sprinted with his head low, hoping on the inside that he didn't look like those nerds in his elementary recess who would run around like Naruto. Pushing the image out of his mind, he cleared his throat as he approached the object.

"A twist tie! Perfect...now, if I could just reach it..."

The inner spy in Yoongi came to the light as a thought popped into his head. In order to get to the twist tie, he would either have to wall jump or scale the sides of the thing.

He opted for wall jumping, both because A) it was harder, B) it would please his sargeant very much, and C) climbing was lame.

"Code New Plan, chief-" Yoongi grabbed his invisible walkie talkie with confidence. "We're going in for Operation Mario 64. I won't fail you this time."

No response came back from the walkie talkie, but Yoongi didn't need to hear how cool he was from his boss. Before he could carry out his plan, however, he needed to do some precautionary stretches.

Because he didn't want to break a hip! Or even worse...end up like Namjoon back at base.

Some hamstring pulls, ankle rolls, and quadricep flexes later, the sophomore was all prepared to smash his goal. It wouldn't be too hard, right? Why, if it was hard, would every single video game include a wall jump in the controls if it was impossible to do in real life?

This thought brought a new wave of confidence to the boy as he stepped back to get a running start. 

"Let's get this bread!"

The screech left his lips as he took powerful steps towards the packaging. His feet bounded into the air right before he reached the bread. Yoongi bit down on his lip in concentration as his foot bounced off, allowing him extra air time.

Arms flying up, he yelled out in concentration as the twist tie got closer in his vision. Reaching out, the red plastic wire was only inches from his opened hands.

Closer...closer-

GRAB!

Yoongi's hands closed around the twist tie as he successfully completed the wall jump. His eyes lit up instantly, mouth letting out a victory cry.

"FUCK YEAH! OH YEAH I DID IT-"

His celebration was cut short by the hard fall he took to the ground. The twist tie fell out of his clenched hands onto the hard floor. He groaned and clutched at his side in pain. As he rolled onto his back to celebrate, he nearly shit his pants.

The bread bag was open! And a piece of leaning bread was about to fall on top of him!

"Woah there, Lassie!" The leaf-boy quickly rolled to the left to avoid being smothered. "Haven't your parents taught you manners? It's rude to hop on someone right off the bat, even if they are packing. Even if it's ingrained in your Deoxoriba Nuclearbomb Acid. Oh wait...that's not right... Ugh, DNA. I forgot the stupid full name--pretend I didn'tsaythat...Aite?"

Yoongi stood up, dusting himself off. He walked over to the twist tie and picked it up. The red color complimented his outfit quite nicely, he decided, before he added the tie to his outfit. He wrapped the red plastic strand around his midsection like a girl scout sash. 

The bread piece finally fell, zapping Yoongi out of his sash adjustments.

"OH! Gosh, forgot about you Raisin Bread." 

He headed over to the large slice, grateful that this piece had plenty of cinnamon swirls and raisins. Typically, cheap brands would cheat consumers out of one or the other. It ticked him off, yet, he couldn't be mad because he was starving.

"First come, first served!"

Yoongi ripped a chunk of bread off of the slice, shoving it into his mouth. He barely tasted it before going back for more, sating his ravenous hunger.

"Gmmpph! Tmhisss is reeamlly GOOD!"

Yoongi swallowed some more before deciding on bringing the slice back to base for Namjoon. After all, the other male was just as famished as him. 

Maybe Namjoon would even compliment Yoongi on his new red sash?

The sophomore spy only hoped so as he carried Lassie back to base with a pep in his step.

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