Reminiscence

Chapter 1

I stood there in the drenched grass, looking at the dead casket in front of me.

I walked gingerly to place a bouquet of white lilies on the dark bronze covering on the coffin.

 The ominous clouds covered the sky. The air was filled of tears, sorrow and pain. The sky was crying down at the scene unfolded before him.

I watched as my mother's coffin was laid in the ground, the smooth expanse of black umbrellas gradually left the scene, after the people paid their respects to get out of the dreary rain.  

People can say all they want in this world, they can’t hide their most darkest voices in the world from me. I could feel the heated glares and glimpses at my back. They think just because I can’t see them doesn’t mean I can’t feel them.

Their silent whispers and secret glances.

To my right was a thin twenty something woman, her hair was in pristine shape, a deep chestnut color that matched her expensive looking Prada bag.

Her voice matched her personality, nasal and distasteful.

“You know, it so awful. Oh my goodness, I wish she didn’t come back to America. Oh poor Andrew, he must be in agony of the events that occurred.” I glanced at her, she looked nothing like the way she said she felt.

“ You know,” she leaned closely to her companion, a fit twenty five year old man called Robert, how I know that is because he is a close friend of my dad’s, “You know, I heard that the spoiled daughter asked her “mommy dear” to come home earlier  for the girl’s birthday.”

She laughed quite loudly, “This was the effect of a spoiled child’s request.’’ she pointed to my mother’s coffin. “Her mother dead like road kill unrecognizable to the face.” Robert shoved the woman a little, “Cynthia! Hush your mouth, you don’t want the girl to hear you.”

So her name’s Cynthia. This Cynthia woman sniffled and replied in a snide voice, “ Well I am not wrong. You were thinking the same thing. The brat was the reason her mother died. I hope the girl is suffering.’’

I was. I was like a dead walnut shell.  

Cynthia wiped her hands on her black floor length dress, “ Ugh. This weather is incorrigible, my dress is getting wet and dirty.” she unclipped her bag to take out a compact mirror.

I chuckled at the vanity of the woman. Who looks to make sure if their pretty or not at a funeral? of a friend nonetheless?

Well, they weren’t wrong about the accusation. I smiled coldly as I saw Cynthia and Robert talked in more hushed tones.

  Snippets of the hushed conversation still reached my ears. 

It should have been me... not her. It should have been me. I stated coldly... I couldn't feel a thing.

I raised my head up to the dark sky, the rain felt nice on my flushed pale skin. My heart hardened at the sight of the coffin.  I could see through my eyes but I couldn't feel a thing. I was like a shell. I knew that my body was getting drenched with rain, I knew that I should follow the others back to the reception area. I know that I should have just lived on and move past the pain.

I knew that.

Yet I was immobile as a statue, a statue whose heart was being ripped to many, many, many pieces. It was my fault... I should have died instead of her.

It was My Fault... My Fault!

I could scream it at the top of my lungs, at the top of the Empire State building, but it still wouldn’t change the fact that my mother was dead.                                                                I felt something cold against my cheeks, I raised my fingers to my face, and it wasn’t the rain hitting my face.

I lifted my fingers to look and saw that I was crying. Tears were slowly pouring out from my eyes.                                                                                                                                  I can't believe I still had tears left to shed.

I got what I deserved due to my selfish demands, how could I have done such a thing?

I felt a rumbling in my pants, catching me off guard, I reached inside my pants to find my iphone vibrating. I looked at the screen, it was Mallory, I checked my history and I found out that it was 75% full of missed messages.

I checked the time, it was 5:35, the day was May 5th .

 Never did I know that my life was never going to be the same again.

It was  a week after the unfortunate event of my mother's car accident and it was  the day I met him.

" Bella!"