heartbeats ; bughead

40

Jughead

I saw him at the door. That ginger hair. I really, really didn't want to see him anymore. But he was so pushy that it was infuriating.

Pop's walked up to me with my tenth coffee of the night. "Jug. Think you should stop with the--"

"Thanks, Pop," I waved him off. I was too frustrated to even talk, and Archie and Pop shared a look.

God, I hated that look. 

Archie looked expectantly at me, waiting for me to talk. My head was pounding.

"What?" He shrugged. 

"I just thought you were gonna say something--"

"Who texted first, me or you?" He fell silent. 

"Jug, I really don't know what to say." I prickled with anger, clenching my fists until they drew blood. 

I looked away and suddenly saw a flash of blonde hair, green eyes, a familiar smile. A smile and then I snapped back to reality. 

"Well, what do you think you should say? 'I'm sorry for destroying  your relationship with your girlfriend and sharing information that was completely said to you out of trust'?" He stuttered.

"Look, I was mad that day, okay--" This time, someone was whispering for them to come with them.

"Yeah, well, I'm always mad. I don't try to break up you and Veronica, do I--" Come with me. 

"No need, it already happened. I'm a single man." He grinned emotionlessly. 

"Never thought I'd say this, but karma's a bitch." 

"Thanks, Jug." We fell silent. 

Jughead, I love you. 

Jughead, come with me. 

Archie

"Archie, do you know how much I loved her?" I looked up at him, and he was staring out the window.

Looking again for a harmony he couldn't reach. 

"I loved her so much that it just-it consumed me. Is it possible to love someone too much?" His eyes were filled with a wildness I'd never seen before, and it was making me more and more uncomfortable.

"It-I don't know, Jug--" He smiled.

"I loved her, and she loved me. It was perfect. Nothing, nothing, could have ruined what we had. Her eyes were only for me. We had something special.

"With her, I believed in a thing called love. She brought out the happy part of me I'd never discovered." He looked at me, eyes fiery.

"We were perfect." He reached. "Everything was fine." His arm tightened around mine. I was frozen. 

"Jug, are you--"

"Until you ruined it." His eyes widened. His face was frozen. "You ruined everything." His voice was almost a whisper, but seethed with desperation, felt as panging as the cold air outside. 

"Jug, you're creeping me--"

"Creeping you out?" He chuckled, eyebrows raised. "Your nerve creeps me out. You ruined my life." He leaned in, eyes wide with a terrorizing anger. 

"I will never, ever forgive you. You're nothing to me." I wriggled under his nails, gripping hard into my skin. 

He grinned cruelly, eyes still crazy with the nightmares he held deep inside. "Get out." 

I snatched my hand away. "Son of a bitch," I murmured to no one in particular. He had turned away, but when he looked back, I saw something new in his eyes. 

Loneliness. Hopelessness. He was hurting. Waiting for me to come back.

I turned away, nerves fried. Walking out of the door, I felt a fear in my heart.

Something was wrong with Jughead. What was that?

It was like he had become another person. That wasn't Jughead. 

I needed to talk to Betty. I needed to tell her that something was wrong. 

Jughead

What was wrong with me? Everything. 

I pinched myself. Slapped my hand. Nope, not dreaming. 

I really was turning into a monster. I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror. I saw a baggy-eyed demon looking back at me. 

I took the metal knife out of my back. Turned it over. Saw my reflection. I was damaged. Dad would probably ask me to see some shrink. 

I was fine. It was okay. It would be fine. Suddenly, I saw a flash of blonde hair in the mirror. I turned. It was Betty. She was smiling. 

I felt whispering in my head. She was telling me something. "I love you, Jughead."

"Come with me." She gestured towards her. I followed. As if I was in a trance. Her strawberry shampoo wafted around the room. I kept hearing her 'I love yous' in my ear. 

Closing my eyes, I wrapped my arms around the air. 

There was nothing. I shook my head. Behind me, another flash. Red. It was Jason Blossom.

He was laughing, grabbing my knife from my hand. I shook my head. "Wait--" He laughed, a deep hollow sound. 

"Come see me, Jughead. Come on." He took my arm, lifted the knife. "Come on, it won't hurt. I promise. Come see me." I shook my head, tears blurring my vision. 

I ran out the door, panting, onto the street. I felt heat in my throat, and puked quickly onto the dark road. I felt his gaze on my back. Betty was rubbing my back. 

"It's okay, Jughead, I'll always be here." Betty tilted her head, smiling. He held a gun out. 

"You shot me. Now it's your turn to do the same to yourself." He grinned. 

"Go ahead, Jughead. Go ahead." I moaned. 

"No, no, no. Stop." He raised the gun to my head. He pulled the trigger, and--"

"Jughead, wake up. Jughead?" I jumped up, sweating profusely. 

It was Pop. "You should go home, Jug. You were talking in your sleep. Get some rest, son." I nodded absentmindedly and ran out into the dark night. 

But I swore that as I was walking, I felt the red haired boy grasping my shoulder. It was my connection to death. I was in the in between.

I shook my head, tried to get that feeling out. 

But I knew.

My time would come. 

omg. i'm so so sorry for not writing for so long you guys !! i'm currently at a medicine internship so i've had absolutely no time. but after a hearty meal of panda express and ice cream, i felt i should write something. this was so creepy to write. jughead's really hurting and i tried to capture that in my text, so i hope you guys enjoy it and his declining sanity :( but I LITERALLY FINISHED STRANGER THINGS 3 YESTERDAY AND I WAS CRYING SO HARD! hopper's dialogue at the end and his letter to eleven teared me up! BUT ALEXEI AJDKJFKHS the actual sweetest bby on the show. but i saw this cute thing on tiktok. basically for any of you guys who watch stranger things 3, basically july 11th, go get a slushee for our bby alexei (the day is 7/11, get it?). national alexei day! i hope you guys do it lol but seriously go check out my other book (unpopular opinions), and thanks for 9.6k+!! i love you all so much for (almost) 10k. thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything. i hope you feel the heart and soul in this as much as i put into it. <3 love you guys 

~mo