Can I Come Over?

3:The Weight On My Chest

My chest heaved as I surveyed the mess I had made in my room. My books were scattered across the room from my tiny book-case, the mattress sheets were crumpled and all my clothes, from the hamper and hangers, were cast off into small piles all over the room. The once standing book-case lay on its back.

My room had ended up as the unfortunate victim of my harsh reality check. There was no control in an environment like the one I was forced to live in. It felt like a huge tree was sitting on my chest. Trashing my room lifted it a bit, but it was still very much there.

My phone vibrated in my pocket, knocking me out of the daze I seemed to have been trapped in. I flipped open the phone to answer, automatically. “Hello?” I said, in a dry voice.

“Hey Lil, I’m on my way back. It’s kinda late, did you eat dinner already?” he half-yelled. In the background I could hear the radio blasting through his car speakers.

“It’s not really a good time. Maybe we could just meet up tomorrow or something.” I choked out.

“You sound like you’re having a meltdown,” he commented.

“Yeah well…” I trailed off.

“Okay, you’re coming back to—” I chose that moment to hang up the call. He was going to be pissed that I hung up on him but I couldn’t take him in his rescue mode right now. I turned the phone’s volume to mute and lay down onto the stripped mattress, exhausted. Soon my eyes began to droop. My breathing got deeper as sleep finally enveloped me.

“Lily!” I heard someone yell. Whoever it was could wait. My little rant from earlier had taken more out of me than I realized. I didn’t open my eyes and within seconds I felt a slight pressure weighing down my chest. It didn’t feel like the tree, it felt more like someone was sitting on me. My mouth had been opened and my nose pinched before someone breathed into my mouth, applying more pressure on my chest.

My eyes bulged open and I found myself staring into Brandon’s panicked brown ones. He was leaning over me, his arms folded into a compressed position. His face was concerned and troubled, his eyebrows were knitted together and his breathing was thick.

“What the hell!” I shouted, swatting at him.  He stood up straight before sitting on the bed and laying his head in his hands.

“What was that?” I asked, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

“Why didn’t you answer my call? I got your voicemail at least twenty times! When I got here no one answered the door, so I pounded the door even harder and Katie answered. Once I finally got past her claws, I came up here and you…you were just lying there, your room is a total disaster and I thought…”

“I’m depressed, not suicidal.” I said before going over and closing my door with a slam. I didn’t need Katie to feel like this was an open invitation for her.

“Yeah, I know, but did you hear all the things that pointed to it? It could cause any rational mind to think the worst.”

“Yeah well, I’m fine so you can leave.”

“What?” he asked. He looked so hurt, like what I had said had somehow bruised him.

“Look, I just want to be alone. I know you hate being here anyway.” I said, looking away from his soft brown eyes.

“I don’t hate being here, I hate you being here. You shouldn’t be around this environment. You know you’re better than all of this.”

“Oh come on. Look at all this. I wouldn’t want to leave Katie with all of this extravagance, that just wouldn’t be fair,” I said sarcastically. He finally cracked a small smile, the first I had seen since he’d arrived.

“There it is,” I said, an identical smile on my face. If I made a joke and he didn’t at least smile, something was definitely wrong.

“Alright how about this: you pack a bag for the week, we go have some late dinner, we go home.” he said, counting off his fingers as he named the things on the list.

“I can’t do any of those things. Do you see this mess?” I asked, pointing around the room.

“Fine, we’ll hurry up and clean, and then we can go.”

I rolled my eyes but the smile was still there. He walked over to the other side of the room while I stood up and gathered the clothes around my feet. 

“So what caused this explosion?” he asked.

“It just built up I guess.” I said distractedly.

After a few minutes of silence he cleared his throat. “You can come live with me and Luke, you know. It’s not like you’re not basically living there anyway. Plus, you’re nineteen; you’re not required to live here with her.”

I paused and thought about what he had just said. “I can’t, too much testosterone.” I easily lied.

“And the Oscar goes to…Lily Chamberlin!” he said, in a cheesy announcer’s voice.

“What?” I asked, with feigned incomprehension.

“Is it Luke? He won’t try anything. He knows you’re off-limits,” he said.

“Just drop it, okay? I can’t move in with you guys.” It came out sharper than I had intended, but I wanted him to leave it alone.

“Fine.” was all he said.

In reality nothing sounded better than sharing an apartment with the guys. But there were reasons I hadn’t asked if I could before.

For one, I had no way to help pay the bills. Brandon had already done so much for me and I couldn’t add my third of the rent to the list. If I couldn’t pay my share it just wouldn’t be right. I knew they’d say they didn’t mind, but I’d mind.

For two, Katie was an issue. If I wasn’t around to keep an eye on her, she’d probably be in jail for robbing a corner store for snacks. I was the one who took the money from the month checks to make sure we didn’t starve all month long. For a thirty-five year old, she was solely dependent on me and the government. Even though she didn’t care about me, I had a responsibility towards her.

An hour later we collapsed onto my newly made up bed. Eventually, we squeezed past the awkward elephant in the room and everything was back to normal.

My eyes began to droop heavily from the stress of the long day. “I’m so hungry.” Brandon whined next to me. I moved closer to him and felt his arm snake around my waist.

“Sleepy,” I groaned.

I felt him chuckle before kissing the top of my head. “Good night, Lil.” I heard before darkness invaded me completely. 

 **Thanks for reading! And the editing is done by blindbynight.The orignal got deleted so here's a chapter to make up for it. Comment and Vote please!