Battle Scars

Chapter XVI

The mess hall was a buzz as per usual. That is until Diana walked in. As she grabbed her food from the line, she could have sworn she could feel every stare. None of the cooks even looked at her, but she also was too ashamed to look at any of them in the eye.

She and Poe sat down at the table with Kare and Snap. They ate in silence just like many of the others in the mess hall. After picking at her food, Diana turned to look for Mae to find her about to walk out of the mess hall. Without thinking, she got up and went after her. "Mae," Diana called out. Mae stopped and turned around.

"I have nothing to say to you." Mae's eyes were full of fury making Diana take a step back swalloing hard.

"Please just hear me out. I wanted to tell you but I needed time." Diana pleaded.

"You needed time? Diana, you were my friend and I feel like you deceived me. No, you did deceive me. I slept next to a murderer for a month. For all, I know you killed my brother!"

"Mae please," Diana could feel tears forming, "I wanted to tell you, I was just scared."

"No, I can't trust you. It hurt to see your name on that bounty. It hurt, even more, finding out you were once one of them or that you could still be one of them. Everyone here is questioning your motive. Look around you!" Tears were streaming down her cheeks, "You have betrayed all of us. It's still a mystery as to why the General let you come here."  

"I betrayed the First Order. I left them to come fight for freedom since I had none while I was there. I was stolen from my mother. I don't even know what she looks like! I have been a brainwashed pawn for all of my life until I watched my superior rip a screaming child from his mother's dead arms. He ordered me to shoot her. I wanted to snap his kneck, but I couldn't I needed to get out so that they would think I was dead." 

The mess hall was silent. Diana knew everyone was listening. "Not a day goes by that I don't think about her." 

"I hope that never stops haunting you. The First Order has done nothing but ruin lives."

"Including me. I'm watching it happen before my eyes..." 

Mae staggered a bit. She wiped the tears away as she turned to walk out of the room. Diana just stood there speechless as she watched her friend walk away. Elrik had done it again. "That son of a bitch." Diana wanted him dead more than ever. Sadness was quickly replaced with anger and a desire for revenge. She thought back to the interceptor that was stationary on the landing pad just outside. She could go now, get the information and broadcast it back from her interceptor without The First Order knowing. And if Elrik was there, kill him. She knew that it would most likely end in her death, but she felt that she deserved it.

She knew Poe would never allow her to go alone. Knowing this, she would have to wait until he was asleep. Poe came up from behind "So, that didn't go well." Kare rose and eyebrow from the table. 

"No. I do think I've lost a friend." Diana lowered her head. Poe wrapped an arm around her waist. 

"You ok?" He asked. No, she wasn't but she nodded her head.

"If I told you I was would you believe me?" Dread began to seep through her. Her chest felt heavy as she kept thinking about Mae's hurt expression. Poe shook his head. His concerned look only made her feel more ashamed and angry. She needed to leave tonight. She needed to end it tonight. "I think I'm ready to turn in."

"Ok..." Poe studied her expression. He could tell it had changed and it worried him. He had known amazing pilots and agents who had been blinded by revenge and it had been the end of them. The pair walked back to his quarters in silence.

~

Diana listened as Poe softly snored behind her. Her body didn't want to leave his safe embrace, but her anger was pushing her to get on that intercepter and head for the reprogramming station. Slowly, she slid out of his embrace and quickly got changed into her T.I.E. Pilot suit. BB-8 was on his charging station and wasn't alert but she didn't want to risk setting off any alarms. 

Diana left the room carful to not alert anyone. CB was rolling around somewhere but she wasn't sure where. Most of the base was fast asleep with the exception of a few guards but they were more concerned with incoming ships. The interceptor was still parked outside. "I hope you're ready Elrik. I'm going to make you pay for this." Her teeth grinded against each other as she approached the ship. Her blood was pumping so hard she didn't hear the footsteps that were running towards her.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Poe's voice rang through the hanger.

"I'm doing what needs to be done. The Resistance needs this information and it's clear they don't want me here anymore. So, if I give my life away I'll at least make it worth something."

Poe's heart sunk. "Don't say that. Your life is worth everything. You are worth everything to me Diane." He had grabbed onto her arms wanting to keep her in place. "I love you. I love your spirit. Your resilience and I love that look on your face when you're flying.  It reminded me of my mother when she was still alive. Don't go. You will surely die rather you get the information or not." 

Diane looked down at the ring that was hanging from his neck. "I love you with all of my soul." She looked into his eyes before she kissed him. Diane savored every last moment she had with him as if she knew she wasn't coming back. "But, I'm sorry." Before Poe could react she had kicked him to the ground. 

"Diane no!" Poe screamed as she jumped into the cockpit. He didn't have enough time to stop her before she had started the engines. "Kare, get Snap up. Diane's gone rogue." He stood and watched as she flew off into the night sky.