Difference (*Ackley Bridge*)

TWENTY FOUR

It had been about three weeks since Missy died and in that time we had the funeral, it all happened very quickly but we all just wanted to get it over with fairly quickly without having to carry around to carry on grieving and feeling upset for a very long amount of time. Nasreen and I were slowly getting back on track with our friendship after finding out about what she had done after Missy had died, it has been hard to carry on without Missy because I feel like I just don't have a purpose, I've just been distancing myself from a lot of people because it really has been hard to just talk to people without having the constant thought of Missy coming into my head and just completely overwhelming me. As for my relationship with Cory- it's been hard but he has always been there for me whether it was just to talk about how I was feeling for hours on end, hanging out like we used to do when I first moved to Ackley or just having someone to be with during the night to hold me and as soft as it sounds it was nice to have Cory around during the night; since the accident I've been having these bad nights and horrible dreams where it just plays out in my mind as what would happen if I didn't survive the accident, the whole dream just revolves around what people would say, how they would act but mainly a lot of it converged on if my mum would still be around, how Missy and Nas would be without me but also how Cory would cope. There have been times where I have spoken to him about these nightmares late at night straight after I have woken up, whether he was next to me while staying the night, calling him up as soon as it happens or him coming over through my bedroom window to listen no matter what time it is late at night or early in the morning and this was one of those times, but when I went to call him it went straight to voicemail.

"Cory- listen I know it's late and I know that you're sick to death of me ringing and ringing and texting you about my problems it's not fair on you to listen to problems that don't concern you and I don't want that to sound horrible or spiteful but I know that you're sick of hearing me let out my problems on your so I just thought I would say that I'm not going to tell you my problems any more. So call me when you get this- actually don't there isn't any point I'll see you at school." I left the lengthy message and tried my hardest to go back to sleep.

When I did get up in the morning my mum knocked on my bedroom door I called out for her to come in she passed me a cup of tea and some food,

"Cory is downstairs." She told me as I sipped on my drink

"Why?" I asked my mum and she shrugged

"Something about a late night call, he was very vague. Shall I send him up?" She asked me and I debated it at first but I nodded my head as I put my food and cup of tea on my bedside table, when my mum left I got out of bed and I started to look for a clean shirt, skirt and tights for school whilst I was in my pyjama shorts with a baggy t shirt on. The door opened and in walked Cory with his bag on his back and a small smile on his face.

"You alright?" I asked him as I turned round to face him with my shirt in my hands

"Yeah I'm fine a little tired though." He said

"Sorry about the phone call if that woke you up." I said casually

"What was that about I listened to it when I woke up this morning." Cory said as he walked over to me and held my hands in his.

"I just had another bad night but it's fine honestly you don't need to hear it anymore." I said to him as I released my hands from his and I went to grab my school clothes and walk out of the room so I could get changed

"Whoa whoa whoa- where's all this come from?" Cory asked me as he grabbed my wrist to stop me from walking away from him.

"I just don't want you to get distracted from everything that is important in your life and-"