Shadow and Snow

Chapter Twelve | Shattered

I love you

The words echoed throughout the room as Paxton fell to the floor.

Isla's head filled with a high pitched whine as she crumpled to the floor.

"PAXTON!"

Her sobs were the only noise in the empty room.

She felt the baby in her stomach kicking wildly, expressing its sorrow.

Her vision faded to black as the scene in front of her turned into one she remembered all too well.

Her husband lying in the s treet, surrounded in a pool of blood.
Police officers explaining to her that he had been shot and killed.
Hearing voicemails of his lover begging him to return her calls, and finish leaving his wife.
His funeral, as tears of anger, overwhelmed the ones of her grief.
Seeing his coffin being lowered into the ground, knowing that he had never truly loved her.
The deep, pulling ache that spread across her waist as her body began disposing of the dead fetus inside her.
Watching bits and pieces of its tiny body come out in surges of blood.

Grief is a strange thing.

Isla had wondered many, many times if it was worth going through.

A bright light shimmered ahead of her, tantalizingly close.
As she reached out her hand to touch it, she heard a baby wailing in the distance.
Turning, she glanced at the light one last time before moving towards the sound, hidden in the darkness.

Light streamed into Isla's eyes as she opened them, turning her head to see her husband, lying on the floor.
Crawling on her hands and knees, she scrambled to his side. Her breath came in shuddered gasps as the touched his face, taking in his every detail. His skin had already turned cold. He was ashen- almost waxy in the candlelight- and his eyes were gently closed.

Her breath hitched as she sat back in shock.

He never got to see his child.
He never got to hold his child's hand.
He never got to teach his son how to rule the kingdom or walk his daughter down the aisle.
He never got to become King and help Arrida become what he dreamed it could be.
He never got to hear me say 'I love you.'

"Paxton," she sobbed, her body shaking, "Can you hear me? Please, stay with me. You've always been there for me. With your s-stupid, handsome face, telling me that everything would be okay. You made me the luckiest girl in the world."

She cradled his head in her lap, stroking his dark curls. "You've been there every time someone has needed you. It's a part of who you are. And right now, a lot of people need you.

Your kingdom needs you.
Our child needs you.
And I need you. I need you more than anything.

My life was empty without you, Paxton. Meaningless. Worthless. I was planning to commit suicide the day I used the bath bomb. I was going to enjoy myself of last time before I took my own life. I was so unhappy. And never thought I would ever feel happy again until I fell in love with you. One second of being with you made up for an entire lifetime of misery. You made it all worth it. You gave my life meaning again. You gave me happiness, which I was sure I would feel have again. And now it's gone again."

Her broken cries echoed in the empty ballroom.

"I was going to tell you that I loved you tonight. I was about to say it, then Achlys came in and ruined everything. But I should have said it a long time ago, skies- I'm so stupid. You've shown me nothing but love for the past year and I never fully gave my heart to you. And now it's too late. Please forgive me. Please. I know I don't deserve it but I know I'll never forgive myself if you don't." She wrapped her arms around her belly, which had grown still.
"I would do anything to have another moment with you."

She leaned over and kissed him gently, whispering the words she had refused for so long to tell him. "I love you."

And all was silent.

...

thump...

thump...

thump...

She gasped as his skin began to grow warm, color slowly seeping back into his lips.

He was alive.