He Loves Me Not (Pity Love) || KiriBaku Angst

|| Chapter Two ||

Warnings: slight angst, a bit of fluff

// Kirishima's P.O.V. //

I slowly climbed out of the shower, drying myself off with the towel.  I grumbled slowly as I slipped on my clothes, noticing my reflection in the mirror out of my perifiral vision. I looked up, staring at myself in the foggy mirror intently. I clenched my fist, my skin turning sharp and hard as I thruster it into the mirror, shattering it. I walked away from it angrily, stepping into my apartment room. I'd probably get in trouble for that, but right now I didn't care. I was just so sick of looking at myself. 

I heard a knock at my door, sighing as I walked towards it. I opened it a crack, seeing the landlord, "Hey Eijiro, just wanted to check if everything is okay. I've been seeing you more and more grim lately." I winced at her using my first name like we were friends, but just opened the door a bit more.

"Hey, yeah. Just dealing with some stuff. High school's stressful, you know?"

"Definitely. Well, just wanted to check in, have a nice day!" She walked off with a bright smile.

I stared after her a minute, before closing the door. She's always smiling, and just seems so bright. Is she really that happy or is she fucked up like me? Why do I care? 

*bdoop*

I turned to my phone as I heard it go off. I walked over to it, wondering why everyone suddenly wanted to check on me right now. I picked up my phone, seeing it was a text from Bakugo, I couldn't hold back a smile. 

'Oi, meet me at my house in twenty minutes. Don't you dare be fucking late.'

I felt butterflies swarm my stomach as I read the message. I quickly grabbed a bandanna, using it to keep my hair at Keats kind of up. I put my phone in my pocket, along with my apartment key. It was about a fifteen minute walk to Bakugo's place, so i figured i would just leave immediately. I closed and locked the door behind me, walking to the stairs and trotting down them. 

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I knocked on Bakugo's door softly, seeing Bakugo answer it almost Imediately. Before I could even say hi, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me inside, hurrying to rush me to his room. He quickly shut the door behind us and looked at me with a somewhat worried expression, one I had almost never seen before. 

"Bakugo, what was that about."

"I found your notebook."

I shuttered as I heard him speak, praying he didn't read it. 

"I... read through it, I thought I would check to see if you needed anything changed."

I winced at his words, and it was fairly obvious with my discomfort. "I'm- so sorry, I wrote a lot of things in that notebook I shouldn't have, I was just clouded by so much anger and ha-" I was cut off my Bakugo speaking, "Hey. I can take a bit of criticism. It's you I'm worried about." He said, a bit of a grimace on his face. "About how you said there was nothing left to live for, and how you said sometimes you consider turning off your quirk while training with me." 

I hid my face in my hands, my legs trembling as I tried to hold back tears. I felt Bakugo grab my wrists, and looked up from my hands to his face. He seemed furious. "Don't you fucking ever do that. Can you even imagine how guilty I would feel if you did!?" He whisper-yelled, clearly upset with me for writing my intrusive thoughts on paper. "Bakugo- I'm sorry... I'm SO sorry!" Tears continued rolling down my cheeks as Bakugo pulled me into a hug.

"Don't you dare fucking leave me."

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I keep thinking back to what Bakugo said to me. I feel an all too familiar feeling in my chest as I long to see him again. He actually loves me, doesn't he? Why else would he say that? Bakugo wouldn't lie to me right? 

I let out a sigh and turn to the black notebook next to me, deciding to open it up for the first time after Bakugo gave it back to me. I had to get my words on paper. I flipped it open to the fifth page, which, by my surprise, had writing in a handwriting which wasn't mine. I skimmed through my memory, trying to place who the note could belong to, and I figured it had to have been Bakugo or Kaminari, seeing as they were the only people who have touched it besides me. 

'Kirishima, I have a rule for you. You can keep writing in this journal all you please, as it seems to help you a bit. I'm going to ask you a question at the end of the week though, and you have to say yes, no matter what I ask. Understand? Good. -K' 

I figured it had to have been Bakugo, as he was more likely to enforce rules than Kaminari. What did the K stand for though? Katsuki, right? That had to be it-

I turned the page and began writing the next but, feeling my hand glide across the page with only the spellings of the words I wrote in my mind.

'Another day, another battle. I feel myself losing grip on the relationship I have with Bakugo. I love him, trust me I do, but this past week we've been together it's been so hard following his rules. Not to mention, now when I'm alone I can't help but long his presence. I need him here with me. I can't help but feel like something's off though. Every time he says he cares about me there's this hint in his voice that makes me wonder if he's lying. Every time he gives me a hug, I can sense that he doesn't want to be there. The other day in class, I started stressing out over a quiz I didn't understand. He held my hand through it, which definitely made me feel better, but I can't help but realize that every time he embraces me, or even does anything to hint we're together is when I'm upset. Whenever I'm happy, he flat out ignores me completely, or treats me like all of his other "friends." I'm starting to think he doesn't love me... not at all.'

 I shut the book as I wiped the beginning tears from my eyes. It's interesting how the truth floods out of you when you stop caring about about if it'll,hurt someone's feeling. I set the book down beside me and look at my revealed arms. They're healing from the week of progress they've had, but every time I see them I just want to dig the knife back into them and remake all the wounds. Bakugo wouldn't let me hear the end of it if I did though.

For now, I'll try to stay on his good side and not bring up what I've noticed. Even if he doesn't really love me, I need him to be there for me. I don't want to lose him because he tried to help me the only way he could think of.

(1222 words not including author's note.)

A/N: okay, so. Yeah. I'll try to update the book at least one a week. If you spot any mistakes, let me know and I'll go back in with editing. 

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