American Sweethearts

37

"Come on girl, take it," Lena urges, shoving the pills in my face.

"What if it makes me gain weight?" I complain.

"Then you'll get a little chubbier!"

"But, I-"

"Come on, girl. It's for the best."

"I don't know..."

"Its what you wanted right? These pills will help you."

"I just don't want to get sick."

"Don't worry," she says. "You're overthinking."

I know I am. But I can't help it. This morning, Lena and I went to the doctor to talk about my anxiety medication. I told her about my semi-panic attack, and how they're happening far too often. So, she doubled up my prescription. Now, I have to take two pills instead of one.

I know it's meant to help, but these kinds of meds can have serious side effects, and it stresses me out.

"Who knows, maybe this will help you so much you won't ever have another panic attack again?" Lena says.

"I doubt it."

Once a week is already a record for me. But maybe with these meds, I can reduce them to once a month. Even that would be better.

I sigh, taking the pills from her. I pop them into my mouth, and use some water to wash them down.

"See? That wasn't that bad, was it?"

"They better work," I say. "I'm so sick of panic attacks."

"I'm sure they will," she smiles. "Are you ready for Pretty Little Liars? We need to finish the season?"

"Yep, let's get it started."

We sit down on the couch, cosying up beneath a blanket. It's late on Friday morning, and it's unusually cold outside. I snuggle up besides Lena.

"You smell like daisies," I tell her.

"It's a new perfume I bought."

"It's nice."

"You're going to steal it, aren't you?"

"Probably," I laugh. I grab the remote off table, ready to start the show.

"Wait," Lena stops me. "I need to talk to you about something."

"Sure, what's up?"

"Steph."

"Ah," I nod. We still haven't spoken about the kiss I witnessed the other day. "I talked to her about it."

"You did?"

"She told me what happened, but she also said she didn't know what it meant."

"Neither do I," she sighs. "She's so pretty. I was attracted to her, and I've been wanting to explore more, so I just... went for it."

"Do you regret it?"

"Not really."

"Do you have feelings for her?"

"I can't figure out if they're romantic feelings or not."

"She said the same."

"She did?"

"You two should sit together and talk it out."

"I don't know..."

"Whenever you'd have a crush on someone in high school, you'd kind of obsess about them," I say. "Do you remember that? You'd think about them all the time."