Not IRL

Chapter 1 - I Hate People

Chapter 1 - I Hate People

I never knew I could feel so lonely.

I had my hood down through the hallways. I was looking at my baggy jeans and Converse when I bumped into Connor Renolds. He was handsome in a skater boy kind of way, maybe one of the cutest boys I've ever seen, but not my type. But I guess it wouldn't matter. I can't talk to him either way; I'm mute.

He smiled at me in a boyish way. "I'm sorry; I didn't see you there." 

I nodded, cheeks flushed, shuffling nervously. People were looking.

He laughed a little. "Shy?" I didn't answer, but I was getting more and more uncomfortable.

"Uh, let's see..." He snapped his fingers and pointed upwards, smiling. "Ah! I know your name! You're in three of my classes; Latvia Marshall. I know you're shy now. It was nice to sorta meet you." He smiled at me again before heading down the hall, humming happily under his breath.

I'm pretty sure my face was red the entire time. No one had been nice to me since sixth grade... 

I continued to walk by my peers, trying to get to calculus as soon as possible. One girl pushed me aside for no reason.

Dumb ass bitch.

I'm always the first one in class so that I can pick the seat all the way in the back. Mr. Geoffery was an attractive, just-out-of-college teacher. He was a little too nice, always in peoples space. Not mine, though. He didn't call on me.

Mr. Geoffery smiled my way before going back to grading his papers. I guess I wasn't interesting enough to hold his attention.

Dumb ass bitch.

I need to get better insults.

The bell rang, and people gathered into the room. Two girls sat in front of me, snickering about something under their breath. They looked back at me and started to snicker again.

"... I heard that she's always early to this class. Maybe she's a stalker..."

It felt like I could hear everyone talking about me.

"... I heard she's early for this class because she's fucking Mr. Geoffery..."

"... I would fuck her. She's pretty attractive..."

"... Ha! I think you need to be a teacher for that..."

I'm so angry. They think that because I can't talk that I can't hear.

"... I saw that last year, she snapped and started throwing papers at people..."

The bell rang again and everyone quieted down.

Mr. Geoffery stood up. "Class, we are watching a movie today. About childbirth. Be as mature as you can. As you can see, the projector is set up. Mason, press play, please."

And there he was.

"'Kay," He said.

He was my ideal perfect guy. The styled hair, the shocking eyes, the puckered lips. He was perfect. Our first encounter was on the first day of freshman year. I dropped my books and he helped me pick them up. When I almost started to cry, he said 'It's okay, it's okay. You'll be fine.' I've been infatuated with him every since then.

But he was helping my break down right now.

"... From the first day I saw her, I knew she was crazy. She almost cried when I helped her. To think she would have gone crazy is, well, crazy..."

I couldn't do it anymore. I have to get out of here.

I stood up abruptly as the women was going into labor.

I felt like a caged animal. People were pointing and staring. Suffocated, I thought. I am being suffocated while people watch.

I was walking briskly to the door when Mr. Geoffery stood in front the door, hands flat against the wall, effectively blocking me in. "Where do you think you're going, Ms. Marshall?"

I clenched my jaw and shook my head. No, not now, am I dealing with his shit.

He crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Nope. You sit down before I call security."

I smiled blankly and shrugged. He didn't know what I was capable of.

I flicked on the light switch behind him and narrowed my eyes. Walking back to my seat in the back, I swayed rhythmically, mouthing words.

My legs are dangling off the edge

I sat down with a crazed grin.

The bottom of the bottle is my only friend

Every one stared at me, scared.

I think I'll slit my wrists again

I jumped back up.

And I'm gone, gone, gone, gone

I wish that I could fly,

Way up in the sky

Like a bird so high

Oh I might just try

Oh I might just try

Picked up my chair. The music in my head stopped. Maybe this means I'll finally get expelled.

And I threw it.

And it felt so good.

I flipped the desks, the chairs, almost screaming. It was probably more terrifying since my mouth was opening and closing with unspoken curse words.

Yeah, fuck the poh-lice.

~~~

I didn't get expelled. Even though I broke three windows.

Whatever.

The principle said he understood that I had a disability. Being depressed isn't a disability. I just hate people. He said he would only let me stay if I went to therapy. Yeah, okay.

My mother tried to keep me out of my room upstairs. I ran into my room, locked the door, and slid into my computer chair to play In-Real-Life: Avatar Adventure. And I was transported into a different world.