Guilty?

One

I've had a lot of nightmares in the past. But no nightmare has been more vivid than this. I could feel the blood on my hands and face. I could even smell its rotten kind of odor. And it lasted for about five minutes. For five minutes I stared at the knife I was holding.

I guess it was the kind of nightmare or dream that you could control since I chose to only stare at the knife and do nothing with it for five minutes. I didn't even let go of it.

I was awaken by the guards. Apparently, I had a visitor which happens oh-so rarely. If I had to guess, it would probably be my mother telling me that I've disappointed her and that the daughter she had would never turn out to be like this.

Apparently, my guess was wrong.

"Why are you here? "

"I'm here to visit my boyfriend. Got a problem with that?"

Aw, how sweet of her to visit her boyfriend and not her sister. "No, not at all,"  I say before walking towards the door.

Then suddenly someone tugs at my shirt. I look behind and was surprised too see a little girl wearing a red dress.

"Uhm, hi. I'm Elise. Do you remember me?" she asks.

I try to remember... but nothing comes up. "I'm sorry but I don't," I say.

"Oh. It's okay, I wouldn't expect you to remember a little girl wearing a plain white dress. You must see a lot of other girls like me, right?"

Girls in white dresses? I don't seem to remember any. "Wait, isn't your dress red?" I ask but she doesn't reply. I looked closer at her dress and I realised it was white, but it was stained. And from the odor, I could definitely tell that it was . . . blood.

The minute I realized it, I started feeling sick inside. I tried not to think about it but the stench was strong so it was almost impossible to forget about it. Plus, why didn't I notice this before?

"Elise.. who's blood is this?"

She tilted her head, staring intently at me like I'm supposed to know. "You really don't know?" she asks.

I shake my head in reply.

"It's yours," she replies with an evil smile.

"No, no, no. It can't be mine. Y-your dress is dripping with blood. So it must mean that the blood is coming from.. you!" I say, trying to deny. But the more I deny, the more I feel like it's true even though it seems impossible.

Suddenly I'm bleeding. My legs and arms have cuts. I'm wearing a white dress. I'm struggling to stand. I can't breathe. My heart is racing. And the world seems darker.

—

Everyone has fears. Some have these fears that have a great negative effect on them. Others have minor fears that don't usually cause a great effect. Most people, like me, have both. But I have a larger quantity of the former than the latter.

You see, I have this fear of blood. Especially my blood. Whenever I see it, I just start to panic and lose control of myself. I've tried countless times to overcome this but I've failed.

Again.

—

"Maxine, what happened?" Sharlene asks.

"Where's Elise?" I say, ignoring her question. I have to ask her something.

"Who's Elise?" she asks but quickly shakes it off.

"Look, all I know is that Dr. Walsh came to visit you, like she does every week. And when you went to the visiting area, you talked to your sister, Chelsea, and right after doing so, you headed towards the exit.

"Dr. Walsh was confused so she came to you instead, she tapped your shoulder and you said some things about blood and girls wearing blood stained dresses. The next thing I know, you started yelling that it wasn't your blood and you fainted." 

Well fuck, maybe I am going crazy.

"Elise is a little girl wearing a blood stained white dress. I thought she was the one who visited me . . . " I say, tracing off. Yesterday it was a knife and blood. Now it's a little girl named Elise wearing a dress stained with blood. You have got to be kidding me.

"Look, she wants to hear everything about this . . . Elise. I'll just come back later," she says before leaving.

Dr. Walsh isn't a bad person; she helps me deal with things. And, as Sharlene has mentioned, she visits every week just to see how I'm doing. But everytime we talk about something serious, she scares the crap out of me.

"Hey Max, earlier today you were acting . . . strange. Could you maybe elaborate on what happened earlier?" Dr. Walsh asks, looking at me with worry in her eyes. And, for all the wrong reasons, I did; I trust her, I guess.

—

First of all, I know this was short and i'm reaally sorryy about that. I had to do some stuff which I guess was the reason why I couldn't update for a long time. also, im sorry for that.

anyway, thanks for still reading this hahaha vote and comment yey  hahaha tell me how this went because idek if im doing things correctly hahaha

— M