Worry and fear envelope my brain,
Every time I see your name.
Is this right?
Am I wrong?
Are you just dragging me along?
"Watch for lies!"
They all say.
They don't know the worry I have
Every, single day.
They repeat what I hear
In my head all the time.
If only every worry I had gave me a dime.
I don't want to care.
I don't want to trust.
Afraid to give you control over my emotions,
But seeing you fills me with joy.
I can't be controlled by a boy!
Always told they will hurt me,
String me along, and play me.
None of them see
What this fear does to me.
Afraid to let go.
I can't let it show.
Afraid to let myself fall.
Scared to trust you at all.
Then against myself,
"How can you expect him to trust you,
If you don't trust him?"
I Tell myself, "Just don't go all in."
I try to hold back,
But my hold is slipping.
I want to fall for you.
I don't know what to do!
Raised this way.
Trained this way!
Don't trust boys.
They treat you like a toy.
Wait til you're older.
Then you can see,
How bad they can really be.
Told to fear you,
Avoid you, deny you.
Told not to like,
Trained not to want.
I shouldn't be struck by fear,
When a guy asks for my number.
I shouldn't be filled with terror,
To be alone with one I trust.
Afraid to post this poem.
Afraid it would show.
Afraid they would see it.
Afraid they would know.
How I have been scarred
By a life of being barred.
Held back, sheltered,
Hidden, denied.
YOU ARE READING
P. O. E. M. S.
PoetryEverybody has a poetic side and I have decided to share mine. Within the depths of a mind that is neither organized or understandable, I have brought together a series of poetic writings for the enjoyment of those on Wattpad. From the chaos that is...
