Crash Into Me | ✓

twenty

July came crashing in hard and fast. It seemed like overnight the air had become hot and stagnant, and I sweat so much I had to either change my shirt twice a day, or shower three times.

I shifted uncomfortably, unsticking my thighs from the seat of the plastic chair in the chemotherapy room. The nurse had just finished hooking Nikki up, and the whirring of machines made me uneasy as I thumbed through my book.

"Come on Nat, it's been over a week now," Nikki said. "You're still pissy about the other night?"

That wasn't exactly the word I'd use, but to be fair, the only reason I'd come with Nikki to her appointment was because my aunt was teaching an unscheduled pottery class to make up for the one she cancelled after she fell. That didn't mean I needed to interact with her, but my sister was, if nothing else, persistent.

"I'm not pissy," I gave her an offhand flick of my wrist. "You were in the wrong, just admit it. It's not fair for you to judge someone when you don't know their circumstances."

"Alright, I get it, I..." she paused and let out a hefty sigh. "I don't need a moral life lesson from you right now. I'm sorry, okay?"

I hummed in response.

When I looked over at her, she gave me a sideways glance, her honey eyes flickering deviously. "Given the circumstances, I am willing to move on."

"What circumstances?" I rolled my eyes.

"Don't play stupid Nat." She groaned. "I saw Brooklyn leave that morning after the gallery showing."

"Okay, so?" I replied in a deadpan tone, but heat flared up in my face.

"So..." Nikki continued with intensity. "I want every last detail from that night."

"There are no details," I shrugged.

"That is such a lie," Nikki spat. "I know you weren't drunk, so I know you remember what happened."

"It's not that I don't remember," I said. "Honestly...I'm still trying to process that it even happened."

"Well that either means that it was limp fucking noodles," Nikki grinned. "Or it was totally Earth shattering."

"It wasn't limp noodles," I muttered. "It just...didn't feel real. Like I was watching myself from a distance."

"Natalie it's just sex," Nikki rolled her eyes. "It's not like you had an out of body experience."

But that's exactly what it was. Not the sweaty, scratching, moaning, dizzying, gut unraveling part. It was after. It was the way he held me, almost like he could shield me from acid rain and falling stars.

My long silence prompted a snicker from Nikki.

"God you're so dramatic," she batted her eyelashes and put her hand to her chest. "You love him."

I scoffed. "Now who's the dramatic one?"

"I am just speaking the truth," Nikki replied pointedly.

I hummed and nodded again, trying to return my attention to my book. But Nikki wasn't having it.

"So what now?"

My eyes fluttered over the top of the book to see Nikki still grinning conspirically at me.

"Now..." I sighed out and brought my gaze back down into my book, trying as best as I could to keep my tone casual. "We're going on a date tonight."