Grief • Lando Norris ✔️

denial

I kept thinking that I was going to wake up and this all be a dream. I refused to believe that Lando, my Lando, wasn't going to walk through the door a few hours after the sun rises to tell me that we're going to be all okay. Then, he'd drive me to my wedding dress appointment, and then we'd go grocery shopping since he drank the last of the milk yesterday. We'd just go about our day together because nothing was wrong. Nothing is wrong.

Someone knocked on the front door just as the dark sky began to lighten. I didn't move from my spot on the sofa - hugging my legs tightly to my chest. A cold mug of tea rested on the arm, almost falling onto the carpet as PC Barnes stood up to open the door.

"Are you Mr Aitken?"

"Yes, yes I am," I could hear the breathiness of Jack's voice and assumed that he had rushed up to the door. "My car is in the garage so I had to run, I- What happened to Lando? Where's Aria? Is she okay?"

"Mr Aitken, she's-" PC Barnes didn't get to finish his sentence before Jack pushed his way into the house. I turned my head slightly to see a look of panic and distress on his pale face. His cheeks were damp with tears and his eyes were bloodshot. It was obvious that he had been crying since the news.

"Aria," his voice dropped, cracking slightly as his bottom lip trembled. I had cried all my tears away but my eyes still burned with pain and sorrow. Jack rushed over to my side as I tightly grabbed the handle of my mug to avoid it from spilling. He wrapped his arms around my body and pulled me against his chest. I didn't protest.

"I-"

"Shh, just please let me hug you."

I don't know how long I stayed in Jack's arms but by the time I was released, the sun was above the horizon and the officers had long since left. A part of me still expected Lando to stumble in, that dumb, loveable smile etched on his face.

"Did you want another cup of tea? I'm making one for me either way." Jack's voice quietly called from the kitchen. Instead of replying, I shakily stood up and walked there to make it myself.

"Lando used up the last of the milk yesterday." I opened up the fridge whilst swallowing a lump in my throat. "You'll have to use my soya." Handing Jack the carton, I exhaled softly in amusement of a memory. "Lando would be laughing that you had to use my 'vegan shit'."

"Yeah, he always used to complain about that."

I rubbed my face with my hands and sighed heavily. My left hand settled on the side of my face, pushing my cheek upwards slightly. "I should probably leave soon to go to my dress fitting."

Jack looked at me with his mouth slightly parted. He seemed to be struggling to find the words that he wanted to say.

"It's the penultimate fitting."

"Aria, I don't think that's the best i-"

"I'll decide what's best," I interrupted. "I need to get my wedding dress."

Jack looked like he wanted to protest. His lips pursed to the side and he rested against his elbows on the kitchen island. "Fine - But I'll come with you. I don't want to leave you alone, Aria, not at a time like this."

"Can you take me shopping afterwards, then? Lando asked me to get him some more milk, and I need to get something for our dinner, I-"

"Whatever you need."

***

I decided to leave my phone at home. All I received was phonecall after phonecall as people learned of the news. I didn't want to hear about it, and I certainly didn't want to talk about it. Jack seemed to be very understanding, but it was obvious to me that he was treading through conversation lightly.