Grief • Lando Norris ✔️

bargaining

I knew I needed to go back into the bedroom I once shared with Lando sooner or later. His mum and dad were going to come over just so they could take a few of his possessions. As much as I wanted to keep everything that Lando once owned in the house, it would be incredibly selfish of me. These people were his parents - they knew Lando far longer than I did, but loved him just as much. They were going to become a part of my family even though I already considered them close.

"Are you going to tell them about the baby?" Jack asked as he handed me a mug of tea. I gratefully took the warm cup and adjusted my position on the stool so that my elbows rested on the surface of the kitchen island.

"I- I don't know," I truthfully said with a sigh, bringing the cup to my lips so I could take a sip.

Jack sat on the stool next to me and pursed his lips as of in thought. "I think you should."

"I don't want to hurt them."

"I can't see why it would hurt them, Ar. This is their grandchild you're carrying. They'll want to support you just like I do."

I exhaled softly and looked down into the vapours of my drink. "It'll hurt me. Seeing them, knowing that I'm responsible for their son's death, I-"

"How many times do I have to tell you?" Jack huffed, grabbing my shoulders and spinning my stool so that I was facing him. "You are not responsible, Aria. That dickhead, drunk driver is."

"You're not the one who sent him out because of a disagreement. I should've just let him sleep in his own bed, or I should've gone to spend the night at yours then it would've been me who-"

"You're hurting, Ar. Please don't think like this - it's not healthy." Jack gave me a brief hug whilst letting out a loud sigh. "Lando wouldn't want you to blame yourself."

"Every day that passes I feel like I'm losing more of him." I rubbed my face with my hand before looking up at Jack. He was nodding his head understandingly whilst keeping his hand on my arm. "I just don't want to lose him completely."

"You won't ever lose him completely. The love you shared was eternal, was it not? Even though Lando isn't here, your love for him will never stop, and neither will his love for you."

I gave Jack a lopsided smile. "When did you get so wise?"

"I feel like I've aged ten years in the last few days." The corners of his eyes crinkled with laughter. "I need to be wise to stop you doing stupid shit like smashing up the bathroom again."

"Thanks for cleaning that up, by the way." I scratched the back of my neck and sheepishly grinned.

"I don't know how you and Lando kept this house in such a good shape. Neither of you knew how to work a fucking vacuum!"

"That's what parents are for," I said pointedly. "We used to have both of our families 'round every Sunday. Even on race weekends, all of us would get together to watch Lando doing what he loved." I sighed deeply. "It's a shame he never got to win a championship."

"He's racing with the greats now, like Niki Lauda, Ayrton Senna, and James Hunt. I could list so many more, but I think you get the point."

"Yeah." I gave Jack a sad smile. "He's going to leave a legacy."

***

Okay, Aria, you can do this.

I stood staring at the texture on the wooden bedroom door. My hand had been hovering over the handle for a a good few minutes. Jack was currently making dinner for when the Norris' are due to come over in about an hour. In the mean time, I've been trying to find the mental strength to go into mine and Lando's room to get some of his things.