The Ballad of Citra Sidek and Her Terrible Taste in Men

8

The black BMW pulled up at the shelter between blocks. Citra caught a glimpse of her reflection. She had tied her hair up and applied some simple make-up. Red lips and brown eyeliner were always forgiving and easy to touch up as she took care to eat properly. She prayed that Khairul would bring them somewhere where the food was delicious but also used proper utensils so she could 'act all genteel and shit', according to Budi. She didn't see herself as a stunner but she wasn't ugly either and Citra could work with that. Time to pile on the charm.

The passenger side door opened from the inside. Within, Khairul leaned over and flashed a familiarly smile at her. "I hope you don't mind us meeting at this time," he told her. "It's a bit late, I know."

Citra shook her head as she got in. The interior was plush and maybe it was just her but the car smelled new. "I'm good," she told him. "Thanks for picking me up." She tried not to smile too much but maybe it was because she hadn't had romantic male company in a while but he had certainly grown up. "That's a nice shirt."

Khairul touched his chest involuntarily as he smiled and drove out onto the main road. "Thanks," he replied, throwing her a quick glance. "You look lovely. Is the air conditioning too cold?"

Citra ran her hands over her bare arms. "Oh, not right now," she replied, looking out onto the road. Did her arms look fat? But surely smelling nice trumped sweating her ass off in the hot humid nights Singapore was infamous for. "It's a really warm night. The air con feels great, actually." She smiled her thanks at his compliment.

He reached over to the stereo and put on some music. The dulcet sounds of the Best of Raihan rang through the speakers. Citra was starkly reminded that nothing haram was going to happen on this date. "The 99 Names, eh," she said to no one in particular.

"Yeah," Khairul said, "My parents love this rendition."

"It's a good one," Citra conceded. "I'm not above the occasional lagu nasyid. It's a comforting song, you know? The harmonics are great and I like the bit where they sing 'Ar-Rahman', 'Ar-Rahim' and 'Al-Lathif'."

"You're a romantic, eh?" Khalid noted that Citra had chosen some of the most loving and compassionate names.

Citra contemplated that. "I guess you could say that," she leaned back in the seat, tearing her eyes away from the darkening sky and back to Khairul's handsome mug. "I believe in a compassionate, loving and merciful creator. Our religion is extremely romantic. Have you not read any Sufi poetry?"

Khairul laughed. "Yes. It gets a bit much for me sometimes," he confessed as he turned a corner and the song continued.

"There is a lot of love in the 99 names," Citra went on, a little excited discussing the structure of the song. "I used to listen to it a lot... when I was younger."

"And now?"

Citra shrugged. She hadn't been as pious as she felt she should have been. She pushed down the guilt that rose in her chest. "I still do," she told the truth. "I think songs like that help keep me on the straight and narrow. I start thinking about life and everything else and... you know what, can we switch the song?" She caught him smiling at her at the stop light. "I didn't agree to lunch which got changed to dinner so that we can discuss the intricacies of my love for super religious songs."

"Feel free to hook up your phone," he said in amusement. "Just put that iPhone there."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "Fine but you have to promise not to laugh. I have quite a few... questionable songs in there."

"I promise, Citra," he said, her name falling like he had been trying to find a way to say it since he saw her.

She took her phone and scrolled through to get to what she considered her least embarrassing playlist. "Ku sangkakan panas berpanjangan..."

"Gerimis? Slam's Gerimis Mengundang?" he raised an eyebrow while suppressing a grin. "Seriously?"

"This is one of the best songs ever written!"

"I thought you didn't like this at all! You complained about it at the wedding."

"Only because it's totally inappropriate! But it is a masterpiece of Malay pop!" she jabbed him in the arm but stopped, realising that he flinched. "Sorry."

He shook his head. "No, no... it's fine." His smile was slightly brittle. "It's just you know we're not... I mean, I really should have invited someone else along to chaperone us."

Fucking Harun and Sons, Citra thought to herself. "...yeah," she felt her face grow hot and her temples start to throb. Oh, this was going just well. "I swear I had no unchivalrous thoughts in that. It just happened. I'm sorry."

Khairul's mouth tightened into a line before Citra caught the flicker of mirth in his eyes.

"Khairul bin Harun!" she exclaimed, as he burst out laughing. "You were lying!"

"I couldn't help it," he sighed in relief. "You looked like you didn't know what to do with yourself when the Raihan song came on. I just ran with it."

Citra stared at him with her mouth open. "I can't believe you!" she folded her arms. "You know dating while Muslim is fraught with danger!" Especially when she was usually the 'danger' in question.

Khairul wiped his eyes with a quick movement of his thumb. "Citra, I'm not averse to the occasional touch here and there but you know, my parents are rather conservative and close to your parents," he took a deep breath and looked at her warmly. "I want to make sure things between our families remain that way and... the only way I know for sure to do that is that we do this right. The bond between our families goes far beyond just the two of us and I respect that too much to risk it. Not to mention, it's sin-"

"It's sinful," Citra finished the sentence for him. "I get it." She said, feeling a slight surge of pride that he had given her family such thought. After all, she had neglected them for too long for the sake of a man. "I'm glad that we cleared that up actually. I had no idea how I was going to talk about boundaries."

To her surprise, Khairul looked bashfully down at his lap. "Me too. Usually, the girls I try to date will just back off or they just look at it as a challenge," he said softly as if tired. He met her eyes with his own once he parked the car. "I didn't know how it was going to go down with you."

Citra shrugged in good nature. "Well, now that you've told me what you're comfortable with, I don't think any sort of 'going down' is going to happen in the foreseeable future." She laughed. "And I have no complaints."

Khairul shook his head, chuckling but saying nothing. He unlocked his seatbelt and got out of the car, helping her out even though Citra was about to follow suit. "So... it's almost time for Isyak. Meet me back here after prayers and then we can head for dinner?" Khairul tilted his head towards the minarets of Sultan Mosque that glowed gold against the night sky.

"I'm on my period," she replied without thinking. "Maybe I could just wait outside?"

Khairul reached out and pat her on the shoulder. "Okay. I won't be long. Twenty minutes tops, I already took my wudhu at home..." he winced, remembering that he touched her. "Twenty-five."

"Whatever you need," Citra smiled and watched him enter the mosque. What had she gotten herself into? She was equal parts happy but also anxious. If there was a next time, she promised herself, she was bringing along a set of prayer clothes. She was going to need all the divine providence she was going to get.