Notes | Larry Stylinson ✔️

note ten

Louis William Tomlinson.

I know you will never see this. But I just feel like I need to write this before I can even think about moving on.

Why is it always the good people who leave first?

God baby, you were such an incredible human being. You always cared about others. You were always kind to everyone, even though most of them were dickheads to you.

I just wish you could have stayed a little bit longer. Here, with me.

God, the day I came home from work. And I called your name. You didn't answer. I thought you were taking a nap. Or that was what I was trying to tell myself. I walked up to the stairs, and into our bedroom. You weren't there. So I went to the bathroom. I tried opening the door, it was locked. I knocked. You didn't answer.

I started panicking and didn't know what to do. I did the first thing that came to my mind. I jumped right into the door, knocking it open.

The sight I was met with will forever be in my mind.

Fuck. It was horrible. I remember screaming, screaming for help. I got on my knees and tried to feel if you were breathing. You weren't.

I called 911. They came after 10 minutes. I knew then that it was too late.

But it was like it was even harder hearing it from someone else, you know?

So when the lady who was sitting beside you, told me that they couldn't do anything. I broke down. I started screaming at her, telling her that she was so fucking mean to me for lying about something so horrible.

When they left, I cried for hours. I don't think I slept at all that night.

I remember wishing I had you in my arms.

You were always so tiny, trying to convince both yourself and me that you were, in fact, 5'9, when in reality you were 5'2.

I remember you pouting when I told you you were 5'2. Oh god, you were so adorable. You still are.

I can't help but feel like this is all my fault. Why couldn't I save you? That's what a good boyfriend is supposed to do.

I know you are looking down at me, with an angry look at your face. Because you think that this isn't my fault. That's what you always told me. But it is. Why am I such a fuck-up?

I wish I had a shoulder to cry on. Like my mum. Or your mum. Just someone. But sadly they aren't with with me.

Anyways, I love you. I always will.

I'm so sorry in advance. I know you'll be disappointed in me.

Always in my heart, yours sincerely, Harry.