When You Need Me

What If They're Right?

A/N - This is a six-part story - my first real attempt at a chaptered fic - and I'm not sure if it's actually any good or not. It was quite challenging to write, and I'm still hammering out parts I'm not happy with. But here's the first installment. I'll probably post at least one chapter a day, unless you guys want me to post it more quickly. Let me know in the comments! And apologies if it's absolute rubbish! 😂

Dec was exhausted. Emotionally and physically. It had been just over 3 months since Ant's arrest, and life had been a nonstop, out of control rollercoaster ever since that fateful day. Each day posed a new challenge for Dec, who had recently finished his second solo presenting stint on Britain's Got Talent and now had a little bit of downtime before the next big project loomed. He hadn't been sleeping well for months, anxiety dreams and nightmares plaguing his nights, leaving him feeling exhausted and utterly defeated by the time morning came. His diet was all over the place – sometimes he could barely eat the healthy meals Ali cooked for him, while other days he found himself stress eating, binging on Chinese takeaways and junk food. Even though it had been three months since everything kicked off, he was still having trouble adjusting to being almost daily tabloid fodder and the subject of frequent paparazzi ambushes. BGT had been incredibly stressful, as had the weeks of production meetings and rehearsal/training sessions for opening routines in the lead up to the actual live shows. Actually, everything was stressful these days, it seemed like. Dec felt like he was being attacked on all sides, like he could trust nobody, everyone was out for his and Ant's blood.

He had decided to go home to Newcastle for a few days, needing to get away from the constant paparazzi attention in London. He had hoped he could get some peace and quiet, maybe even spend a day or two of prayer and reflection at the Catholic retreat his brother Dermott helped run. Ali had stayed behind in London – she wasn't keen on flying with the baby on the way, and neither she nor Dec felt like driving or taking a train. When Dec arrived in Newcastle International Airport, he could feel his shoulders slump as he took in a deep breath. He felt like he could breathe again. He'd somehow managed to sneak out of London without any paps spotting him, thanks to taking an early morning flight, and now he was rushing through the terminal in Newcastle, hoping against hope no one would spot him. Miraculously, he got to his hired taxi without anyone recognizing him – no mean feat in his and Ant's home city – and hopped in, muttering the address to his mam's house.

The cabbie had obviously recognized him as soon as he saw him, but was discrete enough to realize Dec was in no mood for talking, so kept quiet, driving through the city streets with the radio playing quietly. The radio was tuned to a local talk show station, and the hosts were currently talking about various entertainment news. Dec was halfway enjoying their busy chatter, zoning in and out of their conversation about various actors and upcoming films...Until they said a heartbreakingly familiar name: Ant McPartlin. Mind sharpening painfully, despite knowing he'd be better off not hearing whatever they were about to say, he listened intently.

Man's voice: "So what do you think of Jeremy Hunt's recent remarks on Twitter about local heroes Ant and Dec? The Sun have printed a story about it. Do you think he's right, that Dec's better on his own, that it would be better for them both if they split up?"

Woman: "D'you know, I get what he's saying, like. Dec's done an amazing job by himself, but I still can't quite get used to seeing him all on his own. It just don't look right."

Man: "But did you see what Jeremy said? That he thinks Ant's had enough, but keeps coming back because Dec wants him to? You've got to admit, that does seem plausible. If he's depressed and turning to drink and drugs, he can't be enjoying his job that much. Jeremy also claims Dec has always been the more confident of the two, where Ant's more shy. If Dec's forcing Ant to carry on, that's not a healthy relationship, he's not putting Ant first...."