When You Need Me

No One

A/N - Yep, it's another update! Now I know why I felt like I should try to finish writing the entire story before publishing any part of it! 😂 And yes, it's after 4AM here, but I fell asleep while doing the final proofread....🤦‍♀️ Enjoy!

It was 8:30pm, and Dec was waiting in line to check in at Newcastle International Airport. He'd managed to blag his way into getting an extremely expensive last-minute ticket for a direct flight to London leaving about an hour from now, and had hurriedly re-packed his belongings, letting Ali know he would be home later that night. Anne had been so disappointed when he told her he needed to go back to London, but had insisted on cooking him a full 3-course meal before he left. He'd managed two-thirds of the generous portion on his plate before claiming fullness – a feat Anne classed as a win, given that he hadn't eaten anything all day other than a few bites of his eggs and bacon that morning. Sending him off with many hugs and kisses, and a promise that he would keep her in the loop on everything – himself included – Anne had left him with a few final words of wisdom: "Talk to him."

Dec had nodded, an odd look coming over his face for a moment, before stepping through the threshold and back out into the dark, unwelcoming world. Now, standing in line with multitudinous other weary travelers, Dec had his cap pulled down tightly over his eyes and the collar of his coat turned up, feeling the need to hide from the curious eyes of the public. He was in no mood to speak with anyone, not even their fans, and was willing the line to speed up. All he wanted was to get back to London to take care of his ailing wife and their unborn child. Well, there was one other thing he wanted, but that wasn't really an option right now, at least to his mind.

Over the past few months, Dec had met with various members of Ant's rehab team, both over the phone and in person, in an attempt to keep himself educated in the best ways to help Ant as he kicked his alcohol addiction. They had stressed that it was important Dec didn't try to fight Ant's battles for him – that Ant needed to form new habits and resist temptations himself. If he came to rely too much on any one person for strength while recovering, it could be detrimental in future. Which Dec had essentially interpreted to mean, "don't force yourself on him; be there for him, but mainly support him from afar." Thus, he had made an effort to be a constant underlying presence in Ant's life in small ways, checking up on him daily through Christine, and Anne-Marie via Ali (they'd known each other for years and were good friends), and being incredibly supportive whenever he was with Ant. But he felt like he shouldn't be bothering Ant all the time with texts as was their previous norm, thinking Ant might come to rely on him too much, or would perhaps think Dec was checking up on him because he didn't trust him to stay sober. So he kept casual contact to a minimum unless Ant initiated it, instead focusing on passing on support from the public. Whatever it took for Ant to get better, that's what Dec was going to do. Even if it meant hurting himself in the process.

And he was fine with it, he understood why the team wanted Ant to find his own moral strength to fight his demons, and he accepted that this – hopefully temporary – "support from afar" arrangement would benefit Ant in the long run. He knew they had grown to rely on each other greatly over the years, and could definitely see why the team thought it best for him to not be such an overbearing presence in Ant's life right now. So he carried on as he had been, staying strong for Ant and being massively supportive of him, but keeping his distance, allowing Ant to find himself again and conquer the devils trying to bring him down.

Keep Calm and Carry On. That famed British adage had become Dec's mantra in the three months since his world fell apart, yet he'd done anything but "kept calm," instead being plagued by anxiety and insecurity, the pressures of performing solo and having to solely carry all of the responsibilities of their TV empire doing immeasurable damage to his own mental stability. And he needed Ant, more than ever, but starved himself of Ant's love and support in favor of being his strong shoulder to cry on whenever his friend needed it.