You Took My Breath Away

Chapter Twelve

3 weeks later

The last few weeks have been normal hospital stuff. Tests, figuring out what I want to do with the cancer, nights out in the garden with Isaac. I've been up and out of bed a few times. But only with help. I walked around my room, with the help of a nurse, yesterday. Not gonna lie, I was terrified. Isaac was with me again. It's about 10am, the usual time he comes and checks up on me. He goes and sees other patients, but he always comes to spend time with me, any chance he gets. I joined a cancer support group the hospital has. It's just a nice space for people suffering with, well, cancer, to talk to people, and find hope I guess. Sometimes, a survivor comes in and visits us. We call them survivors because, they survived. I like those visits, they give me hope. I haven't had a lot of hope lately. I'm tired, all the time. But doctor. Bruce and I have talked about what's available for me, and I decided I wanted to have a lung transplant, and then chemotherapy. And if I become too sick, if the cancer is too much of a risk, i'll do chemo first. But I'm on the waiting list for a transplant. Yes! Isaac and I don't really talk about the cancer unless he's visiting me as my doctor. But when he finishes his shift, or on his lunch break, we talk about all kinds of things. I appreciate that. Every other doctor here just wants to talk about chemo and surgery and tests. It's not pleasant. "Doctor Middleton, my office please." Doctor Bruce says, rather angrily i must add, while barging into my room without warning. I look at Isaac, and he mouths the words, "i'll be fine." And gives me a soft smile. I cuddle a hospital pillow and look at the ceiling. Isaac has been crazy supportive. I guess as a doctor, he has to be. Maybe Isaac and Bruce are discussing chemo? What if i've gotten that bad? I start to panic, but calm myself down by thinking about photography. I haven't taken any photos in so long, there have been some great things to take photos of. There's the water that slowly pours out of the shower head in the gross, soapy-smelling, hospital bathroom. There's the stars at night, the fountain, the water from the fountain. There's the shine of the moon at night, seeping through my curtains. A photo of Isaac. His deep, passionate, brown eyes, looking like pools of honey in the sunlight. His soft, pink lips, shining. His short stubble. His white coat, and blue shirt. With his nametag on the left side of his shirt. I have a small stereo on the cabinet, that the doctors let me listen to throughout the day. It gives me company, listening to people talk. But it's not allowed to be too loud, that's the only rule. I really want it on, but it's 11:28am, the next doctor will be here at 12pm. A few steps never hurt anybody, right? I steady myself up in bed and swing my legs around to the side of my bed, facing the cabinet. I look out the window to make sure nobody's looking and i push myself up. I instantly get dizzy and fall back onto the bed. I look down at my feet and take a deep breath. "Okay Carly, it's only to the cabinet." I push myself up, keeping my balance as I do. I'm about two steps away from the stereo when I hear the door creak open. I get a fright, lose my balance, hit my head on the cabinet draw handle, and fall to the ground. I'm lying sideways when I see Isaac fall to the ground, yelling my name trying to keep me awake. My sight is blurry, everything goes white. The last thing I heard was Isaac yelling for help, then everything went black.