Butterfly

25. The News

"Jimin, it'll be okay."

He doesn't look up from where he has his hands over his face, letting out a breath. "You don't know that."

"I don't," I say softly, gently touching his arm, and he leans into my touch, letting me hug him, gently running my fingers through his hair.

"Jimin?"

He pulls away at the nurse's voice, standing, and she gives him a sympathetic look. "The head doctor needs to talk to you for a bit."

He nods, and I squeeze his hand gently. Jimin glances at me and the nurse shakes her head. "Only you. You're her primary caretaker."

Jimin nods and I give him a reassuring smile, watching him disappear. I lean back into the uncomfortable chair, letting out a breath, remembering how terrified Jimin was on the way over.

I pull my legs up on the chair, hugging them to my chest, ignoring the disapproving look of the receptionist. I lean my forehead on my knees, closing my eyes, hoping beyond hope that she's okay, that they managed to stabalize her, that Jimin's going to walk back smiling.

"Hey."

My eyes open as a hand gently shakes my shoulder, and I look up at Jimin. He looks exhausted, his face pale, but he gives me the smallest of smiles. "You fell asleep. It's late."

I uncurl my legs, looking up at him, almost afraid to ask. "Is everything okay?"

"I'll explain in the car." He gently pulls me to my feet, wrapping his arm around my waist. "Your sister is going to kill me."

"She'll understand." We walk out of the hospital and Jimin opens the passenger door for me, leaning over to buckle me in. I blink at him.

"I'm not that tired, Jimin."

"I know." His mouth forms a straight line and I tilt my head, watching him as he closes the door, walking around to the driver's seat. He gets in, letting out a breath, and crumples slightly, his forehead coming to rest on the steering wheel.

"What did they say?" I ask softly, reaching over to gently lace my fingers with his. He lets out a breath, his eyes shut, his voice tight.

"They managed to stabilize her. They don't know what happened but something caused her to have a really minor heart attack, but for a cancer patient..." He shake his head. "It's not as minor as it would have been on a healthy person."

I let out a breath, my body flooding with relief. "Thank God she's okay."

He nods, straightening up slightly, and he lets out a shaky breath as I notice his cheeks are slightly wet.

"You don't seem happy, Jimin," I say softly, and he nods, his eyes closed, his voice trembling.

"He said it's only going to get worse from here. And - " he lets out a shaky breath. "Even with everything they can possibly do...there's almost no chance of her living another full year."

I inhale, my eyes widening slightly, and he wipes his face, letting out a breath. "He said we should get out of the city. Go somewhere she'll be peaceful."

My throat tightens as another tear slips down his cheek and he lets out a soft sob, his shoulders shaking. I squeeze his hand, at a loss for words, and he composed himself, letting out a slow breath.

"You think you're going to?" My voice is quiet, and I hate myself, because all I can think about right now is the fact that if he gets out of the city for his mother...he's leaving. He's leaving me.

"What else can I do?" He lets out another shaky breath, meeting my eyes, and I swallow, my chest tight as I look away.

Jimin starts the car after a minute, and we're silent on the entire drive back to the building. When the car finally stops, we get out slowly, walking up the stairs side by side, and Jimin doesn't reach out to me, doesn't take my hand or wrap his arm around me.

We stop in front of our doors, and I glance at my apartment, closed, silent. Jimin is quiet, and I glance up at him, and I've never seen him this quiet, this broken.

"Night," I whisper, and he nods, swallowing, looking away. I pull my keys out of my pocket, reaching for the door handle, stopping when I hear his quiet voice.

"Can you stay with me?"

I turn and he meets my eyes, his big and dark and broken. I nod silently and he unlocks his door, and I follow him into the apartment, closing and locking it behind me, putting my phone on silent so Sandra can't interrupt us, because Jimin needs me.

He makes his way to his room silently, not bothering to change, just lying down on the still-made bed, letting out a breath. I slip off my shoes, carefully getting onto the bed, lying next to him, and we lie there in the silence punctuated only by our breathing.

It's a while before Jimin turns, lying on his side so he can press his face in the curve where my neck meets my shoulders, and he lets out a shaky breath against my skin, his arm wrapping around my waist. I understand, just lying there quietly as he breathes in my warmth. I reach up carefully, running my fingers through his hair, gently stroking his head, and he inhales shakily, and I can feel his tears on my neck.

I've never seen Jimin this vulnerable. Never known the way he barely breathes, as if not breathing can stop the pain. Never seen how his shoulders shake with suppressed tears. How he buries his face in my skin, taking comfort in the simple fact that I'm here, I'm here with him and I'm not going anywhere.

It's a long time before either of us drifts off into an uneasy sleep.