Butterfly

22. The Truth

It's still dark when my eyes open, and I smile at the warmth surrounding me, snuggling against Jimin's chest.

Jimin wraps his arms more tightly around me, and I shift so I can fit my feet between his. He chuckles slightly, pulling away, and I furrow my eyebrows.

"Are you awake?" I whisper and he runs his hand over my back.

"You've got really cold feet, babygirl."

I laugh a little, pulling away so I can see the dim outline of his features, running my fingers through his hair. "That's why you need to let me put my feet on you. You'll warm them up."

He grins, nuzzling my wrist with his nose. "Yeah, no."

I smile, leaning forward to brush a kiss to his lips, and he smiles into the kiss, wrapping his arms around me. I break the kiss, pulling away, and Jimin smiles at me, his eyes soft.

"I love you."

I nod, my eyes on his. "I shouldn't have gotten so pissed at you not telling me. I get it."

Jimin nods, reaching out to brush his thumb over my cheekbone. "I should have told you."

We're quiet for a minute, then I take a deep breath, forcing the words out. "I don't swim anymore because of what happened last year."

Jimin's quiet, his eyes on me, then his voice is soft. "The FINA win?"

I nod. "Partially. It was - actually..." I let out a breath. "You remember I told you I had a third sibling, in the pool that one time?"

Jimin nods, his eyes quizzical.

"My little brother. Taesung." I smile slightly, leaning my head against his hand, closing my eyes. "He was a lot younger than me, twelve years."

"So he's...five?"

"Four, last year." I swallow, my throat tight. "Sandra left home as soon as she was old enough to work, so it was just Taesung and me and our dad."

"When I qualified for FINA...my dad had never supported my swimming, so Sandra was the one who took me. I had to be gone for a week, and..."

I hesitate, then push onward, my eyes shut tightly as I remember. "My father...he was unstable. He - drank, but he hadn't in a while, and Sandra kept telling me that it was a once in a lifetime opportunity, and I had to compete."

"What happened?"

I let out a shaky breath. "The night of FINA, I don't know exactly what happened but my dad, he was drinking..." I shake my head, my throat tight. "And he thought it was a good idea to leave the house."

Jimin's silent, waiting for me to go on, and I'm choking slightly, trying to to cry.

"I get out of the pool, after setting my best time and I can't find Sandra, and they're telling me I places second when she appears and - "

I shake my head, pushing onward. "They were driving, I don't know where, and while I was in the pool racing he - he hit the edge of a bridge and the - the car just went down, and they - they both - "

I stop, my cheeks slightly wet, and Jimin's hand gently brushes them away.

"It was my fault," I whisper, leaning into his touch, my breathing shaky. "If I'd benn there, I could have stopped him. I could have been watching Taesung so he couldn't have gone with."

"It's not your fault."

Jimin lifts my hand, brushing a kiss to my palm, and warmth radiates out from where his lips touch me, a golden sweetness that floods my whole body. I let out a shaky breath, letting him pull me against his chest, his voice a deep rumble.