Liquid Courage

Night 021

I was a mess after the talk with Alfonso. The whole ride in Tobby’s car, I was just crying silently while staring into nothing. I was so broken that I didn’t know what to do anymore.

Lyra was so worried that she insisted for me to sleep at her pad.

The morning after that was a blur. I woke up so late, it was already two in the afternoon and fuck it, all my classes were all done by then.

Kia came home with Ly that day. I was actually planning to go back to my own unit but the two had a different plan. We watched all those tearjerking movies on Ly’s flat screen tv while we munched some fries and pizza. I actually wanted some alcohol but Kia told me that we’re just chill for the night.

The sleepover was so elementary, Ly even bought matching pajamas for the three of us. I was laughing at her Disney princess choice. Sometimes she’s just so childish.

But it was fun. Even though they forced me to have matching pink nail polish, damn it was hot pink. And Kia insisted a pillow fight and we ended up destroying one of Ly’s pillow—all the cottons inside bursted out and we played with it as if we are six year-olds.

It still hurts. But that night, I slept peacefully.

With Ly and Kia as my friends, it made me realize that I should still be thankful. I may not be in a good condition right now but I have them with me, through thick and thin’s.

I spent the whole week busying myself with school works. As always, having lots to do leaves you no time to think so that’s why I’m trying to do. I don’t wanna spend my days being sad about it.

It already happened. Nothing will change.

Alfonso and Cesca…I still see them together. Maybe they are really good friends, afterall they went through the same experiences before. He no longer follows me around, it seems like he already understood that I don’t wanna talk to him as of the moment.

But the funny thing is…although he’s not with me physically, he still managed to inject himself in my everyday life.

I’d always receive something in my locker. The first day, it was a pack of boy bawang. I don’t really know how he knew my passcode but he’s on the student council so I guess he used his power. On the second day, it was a chocolater bar with a note in it, it says “have a good day ahead”.

The third day, I was shocked to see a can of beer inside my locker. Damn Alfonso, does he want to be reported to the guidance? I immediately put it in my bag because I don’t wanna get caught. It even has a sticky note on it which says “I miss drinking with you”. I don’t want to admit it but it made me smile.
 
Everyday…he just surprises me with something. He doesn’t try to talk to me but fuck, he’s still on my mind every single day.

I wanted to talk to him but everytime I see him with Cesca, the pain intensifies. The way he treats her so well, he even pulls a chair for her and carries her books. Will he ever do that for me?

I also requested for additional hours on my part-time job since my expenses is getting bigger. My friends love to eat out and go to places. Even though they love treating me, I don’t want it to be a habit. They are my friends not because of the money.

Also, my work is a good distraction. When I’m tired, I think less of Alfonso and Cesca being together. I think less of the times they look so sweet. I think less of that time I saw Cesca kissed him on the cheek. And that one time they shared an umbrella together.

Damn it.

And because I’m not the only with a broken heart (I can’t believe I’m admitting this), the gang is having a sleepover at Carson’s tonight. Of course, it’s not just a sleepover. Our love for anything with alcohol content is a hundred percent we just can’t have a get together without it.