I was careful not to drop anything while packing; we were moving across the world, New Zealand to New York. Adjacent to this I was tiptoeing around the house trying to get everything done without waking my dad, we were flying out tonight, and the moving company was coming in the afternoon. We'd be leaving this house finally and this school and especially these people and starting anew, hopefully. I looked up at the clock deciding to start lunch, I quickly pulled together sandwiches, leaving some for my dad on the counter and headed off to my room."Freya, Sky"? I asked, looking around.
"Are you playing hide and seek? Come out. I have sandwiches".
My twins quickly tumbled out from their fort. Smiling at me, they immediately grabbed the sandwiches and started munching. I kneeled beside them, eating a half. Freya is older by a smidge than her brother Sky; you can sometimes tell because she tends to take the lead, she is always ready to protect him and shushes him, so they never get hurt. I feel bad as they had to grow up fast, but we couldn't help it this house was always hell towards the evenings.
"Mum, are you okay"? The twins say.
I snapped my head up, pulling them into a hug.
"Of course I'm okay, I have you two". They looked at each other and frowned.
"You're not hurting, are you"?
"I'm okay; I'm strong, remember"? I said, flexing my muscles. They just nodded and hugged me.
"Okay, you two remember to be quiet, he's still sleeping I think, and are you packed and ready to go?"
"Yes, mum, we're ready".
"Alrighty, I'll be down the hall if you need me". I said, walking out, I'm glad I gave birth to them, it was hard and terrifying, the delivery took a toll on my body because I was very young. Being close to thirteen was the age to begin high school, not an age to become a mum. I shook my head sighing, being pregnant again scares me; I wasn't ready to bear that with the onslaught of hurt I was receiving and the dread of unknowing who the father was.
The day went on, and Dad kept himself restrained, I guess he wouldn't want to deal with the questioning at the airport if I had bruises or anything. I huddled the kids into the car, going over everything to check if we missed something and on we went.
The airport was very crowded, it was holidays, and everyone was off taking breaks, I guess. I held Freya and Sky's hands tightly; I didn't want to lose them in the crowd, many kids ran around us giggling past their parents. Freya and Sky looked and them a bit downcast, I didn't want to admit it but I felt regret creep up; sometimes it did make me wonder if I had made the right choice in bringing them into this world. I shook the feeling off quickly following dad, the process wasn't too long and soon we were boarding the plane then getting ready to take off.
I'm surprised that dad hasn't said anything yet, I quickly take a peek not looking at his eyes, I guess he's still hungover from last night. I rubbed my knees, noticing how sore they actually were and rubbed my back lightly, making sure there wasn't any blood on my shirt. I leaned back and drifted off only waking when they brought the food trolley around; this was the only time I'd be getting a right amount of sleep before it went back to normal, I was glad I was spared.
We had landed after a turbulent flight. The kid's hands were still shaking but they were trying to be strong for me. For once dad had everything sorted I didn't have to do a thing.
He got us out and into a cab heading towards the city centre, the kids were peeking out the windows smiling and pointing to all the new shops and stalls and people doing cool things on the sidewalks. I asked them to settle down a bit, we couldn't ruin his mood or our first night here. As we reached the apartment block dad hopped out, walking off to talk to the owner, I quickly got Freya and Sky out if the car grabbing our luggage and dragging our things to the curb. I gave Sky money to pay the taxi driver and he happily gave it to him earning a head rub."Oi, get inside" dad yelled suddenly. I huddled the kids going up the stairs and to our new house. I won't say home as a home is a place of love and care not abuse and fear. I asked Freya and Sky what room they wanted and to unpack after they had chosen, lucky for us the house was furnished. We had definitely become lucky this time around.
Trigger (physical and sexual abuse)
Suddenly dad grabbed the back of my neck tightly and whispered in my ear.
"I've had a long day". Digging his fingers in harder. I winced as he pulled me along to the end of the hallway and pushed me inside the room. I saw Freya and Sky peek out from their room looking at me fearfully, I just waved them off quickly so they'd lock their door. They both knew the protocol they had to go through; lock the door, hide and cover their ears, hopefully, they were doing just that.
He slammed the door taking off his belt."Strip and turn," he said. I quickly did as I was told standing in just my panties, he swung the belt and I could hear the whoosh it made before it hit me. Over and over dad belted me until I was on my knees biting down on my hand to reduce any noise. Blood trickled down the back of my legs and my back burned like fire, he tilted my head up smirking at his accomplishment. I knew what was coming it made my skin crawl as my own father raped me until he was truly satisfied. He left the room telling me to clean myself up and to make dinner once he came back with groceries.
This is how it was most of the time and I thought I'd be used to it by now, but I know inside I'm not. Sky and Freya came tumbling in after he left, trying not to cry, I kissed them softly while signalling them to get clean up stuff because my voice was gone. I cleaned up slowly then hopped into the shower to get everything off me. The water made my back burn more painfully as it cleaned me so I jumped out wrapping a towel around me feeling comfort instead. My skin felt like hands were still crawling all over it. I looked tiredly at the mirror glaring at the flabby parts of me, the dirty parts of me. I truly resented my self, I'm so ugly and there's nothing good about me and I can't make people stick around long enough or save them. I didn't truly have a purpose, only a thoughtful purpose to be dead.
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Hey, I know that was kinda short but I just needed to get a base down, the next one will be longer and I'll probably start it further into the year of school. Thank you for reading, the next chapter will be up soon. -Marelyn
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Some Nights ( Tony Stark x adoption fanfiction)
FanfictionSome nights I want to die... and some nights I want to live.. but in every night I don't want to suffer. I didn't think it was possible to be saved but maybe soon they would regret saving me. I mean what was I? Nothing but a rag. (Warning) There wil...