Some Nights ( Tony Stark x adoption fanfiction)

Be quiet.

Trigger- self-harm

I'm pretty sure that it has been a few days, the sun rose three times, so I've been on my bed for that long. Someone leaves food out on the balcony, but I haven't touched it, so the birds have deceived everyone. Once every few hours dad would knock on the door or mum, so I'm grateful for Friday telling them I'm okay because I couldn't get up and tell them myself. Thankfully Friday was also sending vitals to Bruce so they wouldn't disturb me. I know I was selfish, but I felt the need to go over my thoughts and why I had a lack of them. I still couldn't process their deaths well or handle the end of the man who controlled my life. He was gone, and now I had no control over my life, and I didn't know how to fix that, Dad had been taking me to psychologists, but none of them fit and was only after the money Tony was giving out. I couldn't figure out the reason to be alive, and I hadn't cut in a long time either, and that was only because I could not be bothered to get up.

Knock Knock

"Darlin, are you okay? Haven't heard from you in a long while; we all miss you. Make sure you're eating okay? Peter is going to leave dinner on the balcony again" Dad said, leaning against the door, my stomach twisted in response and I muffled out and okay. I heard him slide down the door sniffling; it broke my heart, so I leapt out of bed and opened the door. Dad fell backwards, looking up at me.

"You look like shit" he laughed.

"Shut up, I only just got out of bed," I said kneeling to hug him. "I love you, pass it on" then I shut the door on him. I tried to distance myself from everyone, but I keep missing them, it sucks. I walked over to the cupboard, grabbing a dark towel and closed myself in the bathroom, I opened the drawer and felt underneath the top, peeling off the blade and setting it down on my thigh.

"Friday turns off the bathroom cameras and reminds dad to pass on the I love you and hug."

"Yes, Miss," she replies.

I sit down on the toilet, pulling my pants off and ponder on the courage to hurt myself. It was hard; I dug my nails into my upper thigh and sliced my skin once. I breathed through the pain, it was only once, and it hurt so bad it must be retribution for getting out of the terrible habit. I tried again, clawing my skin, so the pain was elsewhere and cut, continuously. Until everything above both knee joints became covered in blood.

"Miss Stark, shall I call someone to attend you?" Friday asked.

"No, I'm good Friday. It isn't deep, and I feel okay" I persuaded the A.I.

"Alright Miss Stark"

Thankfully deceiving Friday, I used the vanity to stand up and hobble inside the shower. My thighs protested against the movement; my body was probably telling me to fuck off. It probably wasn't a good idea to get into the shower; the flowing water wasn't letting the blood clot. It was a lot at first, but then it slowed down to nothing, only showing the inside white of the dermis. Once I got out of the shower, I carefully got ready avoiding my thighs; a slight irritation could cause it to bleed again so I guess I'd have to spend an hour with my underwear on waiting for it to scab over.

As sat down facing the city, Peter swung on to my balcony his eyes wide staring at me in my underwear. Well fuck. He dropped the plate he brought me and swung away, probably alerting dad or whoever was around. I mean, I didn't think it was deep enough to cause a reaction. My thighs are quite fat, jiggly I suppose, and well it's not deep enough for me to die. But the blood could have scared him, I guess. 

I seem to spend a lot of time in my head; it's probably annoying.

"Mishal! Open up! Friday open this door!" My dad thumped.

"If you don't, I'm going to blast the door."

"Sir, I am not authorised to open the door because Miss Stark says she's okay" Friday explained.

"What the fu-" dad groaned

"Language Tony" Steve yelled out.

"Hold on; I'll open it" I heard Bucky say. 

"Look, I'm fine okay, nothing is wrong. Peter is overreacting." I exasperated walking to behind my bed. I quickly covered myself with a towel before the door fell to the ground. Bucky cornered me into the wall before lifting me over his shoulders.

"No! Bucky put me down! Put me down!" I struggled against him, but he only used that to tighten his grip. Dad pulled my towel off, and I heard his gasp.

"Come on it is not that bad" I rolled my eyes. But when I looked down droplets of blood were following us, well that can't be good. He plopped me down on to the hospital like bed again.

"Look I'm okay," I said to everyone as they crowded into the room. I backed up on to the bed, feeling claustrophobic.

"Alright, can you straighten out your legs for me?"Bruce asked, getting his equipment ready. I complied, staring at my hands as he worked to clean me up.
"These are pretty deep Mishal, Do you want to tell us what's going on?" Bruce sympathised.
"Yea we deserve to know", "You gotta tell us, instead of moping around", "This is destructive, you can't keep doing this", "We didn't save you, to lose you again", "I'm glad I saw Mr Stark." Everyone said at once, and It hurt my feelings so much. I was a burden to them, but I didn't know it was this bad. Tears formed in my eyes, and I covered my ears, trying to calm myself down. They shouldn't have saved me, and I could see the regret in their eyes.
"Okay get the fuck out of the room guys. Now." I heard dad say. They shuffled out murmuring as they went and dad put his hand on my knee.
"I'm sorry, Mish, breathe slowly, follow my chest".
"No! Go away! I can see it in their eyes. I'm just wasting space! Fuck I should've killed myself long ago!" I panted, Tony looked hurt, like he was about to cry, but he wiggled his nose and shook it off.
"I'm sorry, Tony, I thought... No, it's my fault. I did not mean to lash out at you for that." I told him, he sighed and hugged me. Bruce took this cue to leave the room as he was finished bandaging.
"No, it is not your fault." He muffled out. "I'll take you to have ice-cream? How about it?" I nodded, accepting the offer. I slid off the bed, limping a little bit from the pain. Tony bought me some clothes and shoes from my room and changed into them.

"Alright, lets head out!" He said, pulling me along to one of his priceless cars.

"Hop in; we're going for a ride! Pep is joining us by the way." Tony exclaimed.

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Hey, I'm thinking of wrapping this up soon, so I hope you've enjoyed it so far! I guess it might be getting too personal and I'm sorry about that but right now its the only way I'm coping! Sorry!

-Marelyn