Mad As A Hatter (Completed 2015) [WATTY AWARD WINNER *Featured Story*]

chapter three ◊ eerht retpahc

"You're..."

"Madonna?"

"H-how...I thought...you're..."

"Beyoncé?"

"But y-you're..."

I snapped my fingers.  "God.  I'm totally God."  I smacked my lips together and brushed a casual hand off my shoulder.  "People say I look like God.  Well, they do with a knife to their neck but I don't think that affected their highly intelligible reasoning."

He yanked off his glasses, rubbed the daylights out of his eyes and shoved up the black frames.  "Jessie?!  You're supposed to be dead."

My body gets strung by this high tension, throat disturbingly tightening like my curled fingers on the steering wheel.  The only movement were the rolling tires under our seats and my neck slowly cranking sideways. The sun crept across the dunes, sand flying behind the spinning wheels as we moved further across the dry land in silence.  Singular words managed to crawl up my mouth, slowly dripping out, "Dead...dead...dead?"  I slap my hand across the chestnut leather and cackled.  "Me...dead...that'll be the day!  The only reason I'd be dead is because of laughter." 

Isaac scrambled back into his seat, inching his nose closer to my face.  "B-But I know you!  Since kindergarten!  We were-are best friends!  We'd watch the stars in Central Park and share ice cream sundaes!" 

"Tell me, did we braid each other's hair and dress up our dollies too?" I said excitingly.  Immediately I dropped the gleeful look and faced my torso back to the dashboard.  "What makes you think I should believe you?  You're claiming I am a girl named Tessie-"

"Jessie."

"Right."  I waved my hand, continuing.  "So you think I'm a girl named Tessie who was best friends with a dorky loser, and disturbingly watched burning balls of gas for no particular logical intention and ate desserts that originated from squeezing cow dingles?" 

His elbow slipped off the armrest in exasperation.   "Yes!" he wallowed.  My gaze dropped to the spray of his spit landing on my shorts.

His hand clapped onto his mouth, tomato colours warming his features. 

"Did you...Did you just spit on me?"

"Mhmno," he blubbered behind his trembling palm. 

My foot hovered over the breaks, words threaded by frustration.  "I should just eat your soul now.  The spoiled demon brats would quit complaining, I wouldn't have to feed them for another twelve hours, I wouldn't have to deal with your obnoxious theories, and with the demons being satisfied, I could actually eat real food!" 

"Eat my soul?!" Isaac squeaked. 

"Are you telling the truth, kid?" I uttered at the same time.  "Because if this is your lame attempt to stay alive and lie your way into survival, I've heard that one before."

His head bobbed up and down.  "It's the truth! We would have movie nights, listen to the same music, have dinner at your place."  He combed his fingers through his hair again, clutching his chest.  "Jessie.  I-It's, I can't believe it!" He leaned over to touch my cheek but I smacked him away.

"If you get any creepier I'm gonna kick your ass off this car and leave you to die in this God forsaken desert."  His mouth clamped shut and he plopped into his seat, keeping his body frontward.

Daylight surfed the dunes, waves of heat striking our skin.  I hardly realized my nails grinding against the wheel, and quickly dug through the compartment to happily find sleek black sunglasses.  Perking them on my nose, I still found my nails stabbing into the leather.  Was I to believe this fool really was once my friend and I was...human at one point?  I was created to be Hell's Personal Purge, I have always been the Purge.