Mad As A Hatter (Completed 2015) [WATTY AWARD WINNER *Featured Story*]

chapter twenty six - xis ytnewt retpahc

Quick question: Have you ever been a third wheel? Yes or no?

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It all came in a blur—at first I was storming back into Cameron's room, and the next the mirrors shattered.  I must've slammed the door and the handle rattled, voices shouting me to open it. 

I flung my wrist with a sharp, "Stop!" and a wave of energy hit the door, forcing the door to lock. 

I couldn't see where I was going and my shoulder banged into the punching bag and I stumbled, quickly scrambling onto the bed and under the crinkled bedsheets.  I gripped them as I was seething in bone shaking anger, knees pressed up to my chest.  I felt my human and demon souls fighting against each other, stirring around and building this tornado that tore me apart. 

This long-lasting war has finally risen, between the two internal souls.  I could still hear the citizen chants, their affection ringing my ears and then the screams of my bloody murders, gazes into horrified eyes that I sucked the life out of.  It was love and death—two dangerous elements that should never mix.

And here they were—battling inside of me.         

I turned over and screamed in my pillow.  My lungs ached yet the screams continued until my voice had gone astray.  I spilled the last drops of those outrageous emotions into each chord, soon punching the pillow.  I pictured Lord Death's face there.  Then Cameron's.  I pounded faster, one fist smacking into the cushion before the other could begin. 

Hero?  Villain?  Hero.  Villain.  An antihero was still a hero.  Villain?

With one last punch, I dropped my balled hands.  I gulped down a bowl of air, trying to calm my throbbing heart.  "Okay.  B-Breathe."  

I started to sob.  My shoulders were trembling, I was curled like a baby in a womb, crying hard.  Snot dribbled and my head ached from crying, but the tears never ended.  My heart burned, crashed and I was drowning in my own doing.  The room suddenly went dark and my hands desperately reached into my jacket.  My fingers fumbled for the glass tube, and I ripped the cork off.  My breath shortened and I clutched my neck, feeling my two souls hurting each other and everything outside of it.  My bones were deteriorating, my muscles were weakening.  I touched my nose and looked down at the streak of blood on my finger.  My tears no longer tasted salty, but metallic like and I swiped my palm across my cheek to find more red bleached onto my skin.  Blood was coming out of my eyes, nose and I could feel my heart bleeding too. 

I had only seconds before Jessie and Alice killed each other. 

I sucked in any strength and forced the tube to my wet lips, bending my head back to get the liquid down.  It tingled and then the heat expanded, and I shrieked, the tube falling onto the carpet.     

My hands trembled and I stared horrified as black scales appeared first across my arms, and then fingers.  The human pleas for mercy grew.  Claws broke through my nails and my heels pushed back, my spine stiffening as it hit the headboard.  Suddenly the scales delved back into my arms and my human skin grew back.  My claws went back in and then reappeared, went back in and reappeared.  My arm was covered in scales and then it was a human arm, and the changes were like flickering lights and I was transforming and then retransforming to demon and human, demon and human.   

My chest was on fire, and the screams were louder in my head, cheering for me, pleading for me.  I wanted to fix the world and tear it all apart.  I wanted to save the children and feed them to Hell.  I wanted everyone to live and die. 

The punching bag captured my attention.  I didn't even see my feet move and then next I was clawing at the walls, shreds of posters falling past my shoulder.  Books were flying and twirling and pages were flipping.  Memories filled my eyes.  Romane stealing kisses from me, Levi a human and telling me everything was going to be okay—humans, so many humans, too many, too many.