Empty {sequel to Broken}

Chapter 17: mess up

Okay here's the next chapter. I have this whole book planned out. There will be 29 chapters and nothing overly dramatic happens till around chapter 21.

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Nialls p.o.v.

I walked slowly towards my doctors appointment, really not wanting to go. My life has been miserable these past few days.

See, after Tess walked out of my room that day, I fucked up, bad. I didn't go after her. I just let her leave.And now she's gone.

Well not really. I see her at meals and at group therapy, but she won't talk to me. Hell she won't even look at me.

I walk into doctor martins 'lobby'. It's really just a couch sitting in the hallway. Dr. Martins is the new therapist. I'm not sure why I have to go to him now, but he's nice enough.

"Baby your a firework, come on let your colors burst," Katy Perry sang through a radio on the floor.

I sank down onto the couch. For the first time in a while, I let my thoughts drift to the boys.

After the last time they visited, I was banned from seeing or talking to them, so I had no idea what was going on.

I have a feeling that they've pulled the plug on Louis by now, as much as I try not to think about it. I know that theirs nothing I could have done, but I still feel bad.

"You'll get better Tess, I promise," I heard the voice from the door.

I looked up to see Tess staring at the floor next to Martins. I looked at her sadly.

"I'll be ready for you in a minute Niall," Martins said with a smile, but I didn't acknowledge him. I didn't even notice him shut the door.

"Tess?" I asked weakly.

No answer.

"Tess come on," I begged.

"What?" she spat.

"Tess please, I-," I tried but she cut me off.

"I don't wanna hear it," she snapped, then darted down the hallway.

I know why she's mad. Of course I know. I told her she was my best friend, but then when she asked something of me, I couldn't give it to her.

How could I though? I mean, yeah, it would be awesome to go on tour with her, but, I just don't know if I could do it.

First of all, solo isn't my thing, I've never sang solo and honestly, I don't want to. I don't even know if I could ever get on a stage by myself.

Second of all, the boys. I mean, if Louis really is, you know, gone, then theirs no way One Direction could ever be anything again, but I can't just up and ditch them without knowing for sure what's going on.

How am I supposed to tell Tess that though? 'You're still my best friends but the boys come before you' uh yeah no.

I just can't seem to ever do anything right anymore. I fell in love with Zayn, hid it, ignored the threats, didn't die, pissed off harry, made zayn smoke, harry purge, louis get shot, Tess get mad, the list goes on and on.

Yeah, so maybe they're not all entirely my fault, but I've definitely messed a lot of things up beyond repair.

All I can hope is that things will find a way to work themselves out, without me, and I can just sneak away and leave everyone in better -better than words, you drive me crazy - shape.

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Did anyone catch the hints I dropped in this one? Or know what's up with the song lyrics?