Felix loves boys but he hates that. He tries to appear as a confident gay but he is just a broken boy inside who can't manage to forget all the hate he used to receive because of who he was and still is...
Felix wants help.
[⚠️Warning⚠️] Dark thou...
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Felix POV
Changbin wasn't in my house anymore. I couldn't find something to make me feel better.
Maybe I should stop lying to everyone. I want someone to help me but at the same time, I don't. I'm so scared to see that they don't care about my worries. Or worse, that they make me even more anxious about everything.
I should tell Minho at least.
<2:23 am>
It's already 2 am but I know Minho go to sleep late at night so maybe he'll answer.
Felix
Hey, can I talk to you?
Seen
Now I can't go back. I'm bad at finding excuses. It's late anyway, he must be tired or... Working on something.
Minho hyung is calling...
Ok. I need to breathe. Everything is fine.
Felix
Hello?
Minho
Hi! Did you want to talk? What's up? Is everything OK?
Felix
Uumh... I'm not sure...
Minho
Alright. Tell me everything.
Felix
I...
Minho
Ok, breathe. Is it because of your parents again?
Felix
Well... Kinda yeah.
Minho
Tell me. Did they say something mean about you? Did they hurt you in any kind of way?
Felix
Yeah like a lot of times before but that's not what I want to talk about this time.
Minho
Alright. Then... Ummh... Do you, maybe, ummmh... Do you question yourself because of everything they say about you?
Felix
...
Minho
Felix?
Felix
... I...
I didn't want to cry again tonight but here I am. It's too late now, I have to tell him. I want to tell him so bad.
Minho
Felix?... You know, there's no shame to be gay. I'm gay too, right? And I know it's not easy to accept it because my parents were really against it too in the beginning, remember? But then, after not talking to them to like, what? A year or two? They started to tell me that they missed me and now we're almost in a good relationship like before.
Felix
I'm scared...
Minho
What are you scared of?
Felix
Of myself... I... I'm scared because I'm so depressed lately but I don't know what to do with my life.
Minho
I know. Find something that you truly love and that is strongly distractive. That way, you will find yourself smiling more and more each day and you will love this feeling. You hate yourself because you care about what other people think about you too much. We only have one life, Felix.
You know? You can cry as much as you want now. You've done the worst part. You came out of the closet and you told someone about your worries. Now, you just have to live as YOU want and not as THEY want.
You're talented, funny, kind and a beautiful man. I'm sure you'll find the right man for you that will understand everything when you're ready.
Felix
Thank you hyung. I love you.
I couldn't say anything more because I was still sobbing a lot and I couldn't find my words anyway.
Minho
I love you too. Now go to sleep. Tomorrow will still be a little hard but I promise you it will get better!
