When You Have A Life Crisis But You're Just a Lonely Nerd (Hosie AU)

I can't deal with myself anymore

Ugh. My hands are all sweaty.

I wipe off my hands on my denim jeans, but it doesn't really help. It's only getting hotter inside this damn car, but I can't seem to work up the courage to get out of it. This is because I'm right in front of the Saltzman family house, home to one Josie Saltzman.

Earlier today I apologized for my behavior towards her this past week, but what if she hasn't really forgiven me? There could be some small chance she's still angry with me, and I wouldn't be surprised. I've been a jackass lately because I have no emotional or social intelligence. And the fact that I am crushing on Josie doesn't help in the slightest.

It could have taken anywhere in between five minutes and five years, but I finally get out of my car and slowly walk to the door of the Saltzman house. My hand shakes slightly as I ring their doorbell.

The door swings open in my face, and Lizzie Saltzman stands in front of me with an exaggerated grimace.

"Oh, great. Now the freak is in my home."

Today's my lucky day, apparently. Now I've run into Lizzie twice in one week.

"Josie! Your nerdy troglodyte girlfriend is here!" My eyes drop to the floor as I wait for Josie to come downstairs. I'm not scared of Lizzie! Just...intimidated. Finally, I hear Jo leap down the stairs.

Okay, this doesn't sound really great, but I'm suddenly distracted. I've always appreciated my ability to stay focused and concentrated. However, my mind goes a little foggy for a minute.

Shorts. That's my dilemma at the moment. Not the actual shorts, of course, but the person wearing them. My eyes involuntarily traveled up and down Jo's long ass legs. Her perfect freaking legs. I've never really been gifted the opportunity to see Josie's legs before, not like this, because of the school dress policy. But I'm glad I'm here now. Scenarios and situations are running through my horny teenage mind...

"Hope?" My eyes snap to her face once again.

"Uh, yeah? I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"I just said hello."

"Oh. Well, Hi!" I'm an idiot.

"While you two are down here flirting, I'll be upstairs, okay?" Lizzie interrupts the awkward tension in the air for us. "And please don't have sex on the couch. I like to nap there. Toodles!"

There's a long stretch of silence after Lizzie leaves the room. I feel an enormous pressure to say something and break the silence, but my mouth doesn't want to work properly. Thankfully, Josie comes to my rescue; this has been a recurring theme lately.

"Do you wanna, like, go to the kitchen or something—to, you know, work on our project?"

"Yeah, sure."

For the next few hours nothing can be heard but the typing of the computer keys and the occasional small talk between us. Since I decided long ago that acing all of my subjects was a must, it's not unusual for me to spend hours upon hours dedicated to studying or researching. However, I find it hard to concentrate whenever I'm in Josie's presence lately. That's what leads to my current predicament.

"Hey, Hope?"

"Yeah, Jo?"

"Are you almost done reading that book yet?"

"Mmhmm," I mumble, "Why do you ask?"

"Well you haven't turned the page in about 10 minutes, so..."

Shit. I feel like I've been caught in a lie, even though I haven't technically done anything. I just spaced out thinking about the way Jo's eyebrows crinkle when she's concentrating. It's extremely cute. But I can't exactly tell her that, can I?

"I guess I lost my focus. It's hard to stay on task when reading about ancient French people from the 1700's."

I didn't mean it as a joke, but she laughs anyway. Then her face shifts into an indescribable expression.

"I think we should take a break from this for a minute. Wouldn't want you to pass out from boredom!" I smile at her words.

"Okay, what do you have in mind?"

I can tell she's thinking for a moment when suddenly her face lights up.

"We have some brownie mix here. Maybe we could make some."

I don't even really like brownies that much, but I can't deny any request she makes while she's looking at me like that. She's trying to hide it, but I can tell that she's really excited to eat the brownies. There's even a freaking twinkle in her eyes! Who even looks that pretty and beautiful at the same time? She's the living embodiment of the type of princess that lives in fairytales.

Oh, shit. I haven't responded yet. I've just been creepily staring at her for like a full thirty seconds.

"Uh-yeah That sounds great, Jo."

"Great! I'll get the mix out! Can you read the box for ingredients while I get the baking pan?"

"Yeah, sure." I'm reading the box she gave me: three eggs, a cup of milk, two tablespoons of-

"Hope?" She interrupts my thoughts.

"Yeah, Jo?"

"Can you get the vegetable oil out of my cabinet? It's on the top shelf."

"Yeah, sure." I make my way to the cabinet to retrieve the item at hand. My hand reaches for it, but I'm left grunting with my outstretched hand not finding the vegetable oil. It's simply too tall for me. Josie seems to understand what's happening when she sees my intense struggle, so she presses her body against mine to reach up for the object in question.

This only happens for a few moments, but I find myself feeling like I've been shocked on the entire left side of my body. Jo's body up against my smaller one floods me with a fuzzy warmness. After she's gotten the oil, we both stand in our position for a moment, and I swear she leans her head closer to mine. I can feel her breath on my face as she comes closer and-

"JOSIE!" We jump clumsily apart. Lizzie comes bounding down the stairs.

"Josie, have you seen my-" Lizzie looks around the kitchen confused. "What are you guys doing down here?"

Josie responds quickly. "Just making some-uhm, brownies."

Lizzie eyes dart suspiciously between the both of us. I'm sure the burning red blush on my face is extremely noticeable. Thankfully, she either doesn't notice, or doesn't care enough to mention it.

"Okay, whatever. Have you seen me hairbrush, Jo?"

"It's on my bed, Lizzie."

"Okay, thanks. See ya later, lovebirds."

She leaves just as abruptly as she came.

The vegetable oil is just sitting on the counter. So I decide to say something.

"How about we actually start mixing the ingredients together? It's kind of important for the overall recipe."

Josie laughs. And It leaves my head spinning like it usually does. I'm really in deep.