When You Have A Life Crisis But You're Just a Lonely Nerd (Hosie AU)

I'm also fucking stupid

Ugh. This day is getting worse and worse. I slept through my fucking alarm earlier, I had to miss breakfast, and I just got through an hour long physics class. I'm tired, hungry, and bored out of my mind. And to top it all off, I haven't seen Josie in days. That is kind of my fault, though.

Okay, this may sound stupid, but I've been too scared to even attempt talk to Josie this week. Before I started hanging out with her, she was just a concept. A figure of my imagination. And now everything is real, so I don't wanna mess this thing up.

I felt something during that movie. Something I've never really felt before in my life. My heart was pumping out of my chest, I was sweating buckets, and I couldn't even pay attention to the movie. I've seen the gooey romance movies, okay? So I know what this must mean for me.

I. Have. A. Crush.

It's way too early for that! I just started talking to Josie, and I already have a full-blown freaking crush on her? I can't even act like a normal person around her, so how am I supposed to talk to her too?

"Hope?" Well this is the worst timing.

"Hey, Josie. What's up?" Her face twists in slight anger.

"What's up? That's what you have to say to me? How about, 'I'm sorry, Josie.' Or, 'Here's an explanation for my behavior lately.' I think that would almost cover for you avoiding me this whole week!"

So she's noticed. Shit. What am I gonna tell
her? She can't know about my feelings.

"You're right, Josie. I'm really sorry. You deserve to know the truth." I hesitate.

"Well?"

"I just-I was kind of, uhm, scared." My voice cracks slightly on that last word. We're in the middle of a crowded hallway, and I can feel my eyes start to water. Sorrow starts to creep up my spine and make its way to my heart. I think Josie notices my quick mood change because I feel her strong yet soft hands lead me into an empty bathroom nearby.

"Hope? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm com-completely fine." She gives me a look, so I know she doesn't really believe me.

"Okay...Maybe I'm not at my best right now."

"That's okay, Hope. I just want you to trust me with your problems. Nobody's perfect. Even if you are pretty close."

She's smiling at me, and we both chuckle at her joke. I am quite a perfectionist. I take this moment to start to give her an explanation.

"Like I told you, I am scared. I'm scared of messing everything up, okay? You're honestly the best friend I've ever had, and we've been talking for a week at most!"

"Hope-"

"No, Josie! You are awesome, kind, generous, sweet, and everything in between! And I am just a lumpy freaking sack of potatoes. I'm eventually gonna do something to mess us up, and I don't wanna risk losing our friendship before it even starts." She just looks at me for what feels like forever. I can't tell what she's thinking, and maybe I don't wanna know. It takes a minute, but she finally responds.

"Hope, I am done with you bashing yourself and comparing yourself to others. You aren't a lumpy sack of potatoes. To me, you're beautiful, okay? Forget what I said before, you are perfect."

She thinks that? About me? Wow, if I thought I had a crush before, I think I want to marry her right now. Her big and soulful eyes make me feel like she can see into my soul. Usually, I hate eye contact like this. But Josie makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Like someone just turned on a lamp inside me that's been off for a long time.

"You really think that about me?"

"I know this about you."

Okay, I am officially a puddle. This effect she has on me is not good for my fragile heart. By the way, it is due to burst out of my chest in about-

"BRIIING! BRIIING!"

The bell interrupted my thoughts and our conversation.

"Oh shit! Josie, I've gotta get to class. I can't be late!" My movements are frantic as I try to get out of the claustrophobic bathroom.

"Hope, wait!"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think we could meet at my house after school? For, you know, our French project?"

"Of course!" Of course? Really, Hope? You sound eager as hell.

"It's a date, then. See you later, Hope." She practically skips out the door. But not before giving me a kiss on the cheek on her way out. And once again, Hope Mikaelson is a puddle.