When You Have A Life Crisis But You're Just a Lonely Nerd (Hosie AU)

This feeling's like no other

"What's got you so smiley, Hope?"

My mom seems to be extremely nosy these days. Her question is accompanied with a curious stare that I discover after lifting my head up from looking at my phone. It shouldn't bother me because this is my fault, but I feel a creep of irritation up my spine after hearing her intrusive words. This feeling is probably because I'd like her to be the last person to know about my relationship with Josie, the girl that caused my face to break out into a wide grin just moments ago. I'd like to keep Josie away from my parents for the moment, thank you very much.

"What do you mean?" I reply to her feigning innocence. Hopefully she'll just drop her line of questioning, which is wishful thinking on my part since she never does.

She gives me an unimpressed look.

"Hope, I'm your mother. I know when something is happening with you. And I think that there's somebody very special that you've been talking to for a while now." Damn it. She's always been able to read me like an open book. I guess these past days I've been smiling because of Josie an impressive amount.

"Mom," I put on my best poker face, "if there was somebody in my life that you needed to know about, I'd tell you. Okay?"

My mom gives up her interrogation finally. "Alright, Hope. But you know you can tell me anything right?"

Right then and there is where I almost crack. The look on her face makes me want to believe my mom and spill about everything that's been happening. I even open my mouth slightly to tell her about my recent escapades. But something debilitating stops me.

Fear.

If I tell my mother about Josie, there's absolutely no going back. No more hiding in my nice, comfy metaphorical closet. No more being deemed "normal" in my family's eyes. I'm scared everyone will think differently of me, or even judge me based on solely my sexuality, which by the way, I don't even concretely know what that is just yet. So I give my mother the answer she wants to hear.

"I know, Mom."

———

It's only been a couple of days since our first date when I find myself in Josie's room once again. She invited me to come over after school only hours ago, and I brought my stuff to sleep over with her.

This sleepover, though, is completely different from the last ones we've had. I don't exactly know what we are, but we're not really just "friends" anymore. Which is what is currently putting me on extreme edge right now.

Is she going to want to kiss me? As much as I would love to, it would be my first one ever. And I'm really scared that I'm gonna do something stupid. I cannot mess this up!

Josie interrupts my internal rambling with a question.

"Do you wanna play a board game with me? I've got the Game of Life somewhere around here."

I don't really like board games, especially ones I've never played before. But Josie's cute little grin changed my mind on my previous stance.

"Sure, Jo." She gives me another award-winning smile.

"Great! Let me just go get it, and we can start."

After she locates the game, we migrate to her bed. The Game of Life is dropped on her bed with a resounding thud. It sounds quite heavy to me for some reason. After I help Josie set up the game, even though I've never played, we decide on what cars we want. Well, we argue for what cars we want.

"Josie, come on. Blue is my favorite color!"

"But I always play with the blue car, and I always win. It's my good luck charm, Hope!"

"Well then maybe you should switch it up for once. Live a little." I smirk after my stupid ass comment. But Josie is not amused.

"Hope, if the blue car is not in my hands in approximately ten seconds, there will be hell to pay."

Josie doesn't usually make threats like this, so I take it with a grain of salt. But when I finally take in Josie's facial features after a couple seconds, I can see her face set in stone with anger. Not real anger, mind you, but quite an intense look of determination. If I wasn't the one receiving her stare, I'd probably laugh at Josie's attitude. However, she looks incredibly intimidating, even over a tiny little car.

It's taken me a couple seconds to reach this conclusion, which is apparently far too long for Josie. She leaps from her position on her bed and starts reaching for the blue car previously residing in my hand. She surprises me, though, so the car flies out of my hand when she ambushes me. It falls to a different place on the bed, and I quickly grab it and hide it behind my back.

This annoys Josie, who probably expected a quick retrieval of the little car. She starts violently tickling me, and I can do nothing to control my laughter. I've been twisting and turning to try and be released from her hold when I realize the position we're in. Josie is practically laid on top of me, and her face looks quite closer to mine than it did before.

She seems to sober up quickly and realize our position as well, so now we're both completely and utterly silent. I can't help but look at her soft lips, and when my eyes move back up to hers, it seems she had noticed my gaze shifting. To my credit, I do not awkwardly try to halt the obvious tension in the moment, but my next move surprises me. At first, the movement wasn't conscious, but I now start to realize that I've been slowly moving my head to meet Josie's above me.

She's noticed too, and I can tell that her head is lowering to meet mine as well. The moment seems to last forever before Josie's lips finally meet mine.

Just the slight brush of her lips seems to short circuit my brain, if it even was working beforehand anyway. I move to apply more pressure to her lips in the moment, but now my hands are awkwardly laid at my sides. Josie notices, of course she does, and gently guides my hands to rest on her hips.

If that isn't the sexiest thing I've ever been privileged to witness, then my name isn't Hope Andrea Mikaelson.

Anyways, I feel a little uncomfortable in my current position laying on Josie's bed, so I keep my hold on Josie's hips and slowly put myself in a sitting position. Now Josie is basically straddling my legs, and I don't think I could've ever dreamed up something this magical. Soon after I right myself, Josie surges to meet my lips again, and my brain ceases to work once more. I can't focus on anything besides her lips until Josie's hand finds its way to the nape of my neck. It's a simple and soft touch, but the action is enough to wake me up a little bit.

My hands slowly move from Josie's hips to rest on her sides. When that's not enough for me, my hands find their way under Josie's cotton tee and rest comfortably on her sides there. An almost inaudible gasp is heard from Josie, and I find myself wanting to do anything to hear it again.

It's unfortunate, but I do have to breathe occasionally, so I pull back from Josie and take the time to just look at her.

What I notice most is her lips. Ironic, right? Whatever. It's just that I'm in awe because of how swollen they look. I did that to her. It's like a rush of adrenaline that won't go away.

I don't ever want the feeling to stop.

Just as I'm about to kiss her again, we're interrupted by Lizzie screaming from her room across the hall.

"Jo! Dad says to come here!"

She moves her attention back to me and apologizes, "Sorry, Hope." She then gives me a sheepish grin.

"Oh, uhm. It's fine." It seems Lizzie's shout has reverted me back to my shy and unsure self for the moment. Jo also takes my statement as her cue to get up and start to go to her dad. But I shake out of my previous state and make sure to give Josie one last comment before she's out the door,

"We'll have plenty of time to continue this later."

Josie playfully rolls her eyes at me and walks out the door, leaving me alone on her bed with a stupid-looking grin on my face.