Love at a Price (re-write?) - a GMW Joshaya fic

Three

I begin to shake, clutching onto the railing so that he won't see. My knuckles turn white as my grip tightens and I consider the worst that could happen. Raped, kidnapped, murdered. Anything else will probably be okay. I suck in a deep breath as Colton leans closer to me, asking me exactly what I want from him.

That's when I strike. My fist collides with his cheek and as he blinks, dazed, I shove him to one side and dart past. I stumble, terrified that I'll trip and he'll get me. The door isn't far, but when I can hear him yelling after me, threatening and swearing, it feels like forever. But he doesn't follow me, and I could never be more thankful to a God I don't really believe in that he didn't follow me.

I push through the door, gasping as the space opens up and I follow people outside. I bring my phone to my ear, listening for Riley's voice as I dart in the opposite direction from where I saw them standing – they don't need to see me like this.

"Maya!" Riley chirps, and I nearly sob with relief. "Where are you, honey? I can't see you."

"I-I'm fine, you guys head home without me... I'm just talking to some people from school, I'll-I'll talk to you later."

"Oh, um..." I hear her mumble something to Shawn, "Yeah, okay. Your Mom and Shawn say they'll wait for you here so you're safe,"

I cut her off, "No! No, I'll be fine. Tell them to go. And, Pumpkin? Thanks for tonight!" I hang up quickly and don't stop running despite my shoes pinching at my feet. I don't stop when Josh rings me and I automatically answer.

"What are you doing? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Can't talk now." I go to hang up but he keeps talking and I really don't want to upset him. My breathing is heavy, and I can't disguise it, so he asks me where I'm going, why I'm running.

I stop, doubling up against a wall as tears betray me, spilling down my face and messing with my voice. "Don't worry," I pant, "I'm totally great."

"Don't panic, Maya. I can see you, and I'm going to walk with you, even if you don't want to tell me what happened." He hangs up as a hand brushes against my own, easing the phone away from my ear.

I squeeze my eyes tight, willing myself to stop, and then I look up. Josh's blue eyes are filled with concern, and it makes me sick for him to see me like this. He shouldn't have to deal with a burden, not when I'm on the brink of blurting it all out. It's only been a minute or two since Colton happened, but it's already burning up inside of me, just the possibilities of what might have been had it all gone wrong.

"Can't believe you're coming to my rescue, Uncle Boing," I laugh shakily, doing as much as I can to avoid letting this be real. I quickly scrub at my eyes and straighten up further, pasting a careful smile on my face.

"Oh, don't do that," Josh holds me close and runs his fingers through my hair. I can't stop shaking when one of his hands happens to glide down my back in a gesture supposed to be comforting. "What happened tonight, Maya? You've got me so worried."

I shake my head, voice barely louder than a whisper, "You should go back to your dorm, Josh. I'll be fine once I've calmed down. I'm just being overdramatic."

I feel Josh shake his head and he squeezes me just a little tighter before releasing me. He tilts my face up by my chin, leaning down slightly as he cups my chin in one hand, "I'd like to take you home, Maya, if not just for my own sanity. Please, can you let me do that?" I nod against his head, and his hand drops down to beside mine, lacing our fingers together. "You're okay?"

"Yeah. Thanks, Josh," I breathe, falling into step with him. Everybody is still waiting around at the subway station when Josh and I turn up together, the subway car squealing to a halt. I notice them before they notice me, considering the vantage from the stairs. As I lean back, stopping against the wall, Josh's arm gets tugged as he doesn't realise that I've stopped. But I can't face them, despite knowing that they mean best, as I don't want to have to explain myself.

"You go ahead, I'll take the next one home."

"Do you really think that that's going to happen?" Josh laughs lightly, swinging our hands slowly guiding me down to the platform, careful to keep our distance. We get into the last cart, leaving two carts of distance to ensure that they won't happen to wander down and spot me. "Now, I don't know why you don't want to be around everybody, Maya, but you aren't about to wait around a sketchy station so late at night."

I roll my eyes jokingly, "This is my world, my time to experience everything." We sit beside each other, my ears pricking as garbled speech bursts over the intercom and disappears with a crackle.

We spend a majority of the trip talking about what's happening with school, Josh filling me in on his roommate situation and how the workload is bound to get worse for both of us. Then he brings up my freak out as we get close to my station. He all but pleads with me to put his mind at ease and just let him know. He doesn't seem to understand just how badly I want to tell him about Colton, even if all he'd do is tell me that it doesn't matter anymore, that he's gone now. I just can't tell him, because it doesn't matter, because it's over, because nothing happened. I got away unscathed, and I shouldn't be so upset over something people go through every day and don't bat an eye over.

I take a deep breath in, wishing that we'd stop now, "It's nothing. There was just some guy – some creep. Nothing happened. Like I told you, I was just over-reacting."

"Who was the guy?" Lucas asks from the doors of the cart, head tilted slightly, shoulders squared.

I smile tiredly, "Look what you've made me do, Josh. Now Hee-Haw's all riled up over nothing." Josh snickers before rolling his lips together and shutting up.

"Seriously, Maya, what happened?" Lucas asks, walking over to us as the subway begins to slow down. "You do know you can tell me, right?"

"It's fine, Huckleberry, no need to act all protective, I'm not in distress or anything."

The doors open and I take it as an excuse to leave the awkward situation. That's what I get for opening my mouth. I somehow convince Lucas to go back to the others and forget what I said. He doesn't seem ecstatic about dropping the subject but knows me well enough to realise that he won't get it out of me. I can't bring myself to catch up with Riley because I'd spill everything, no doubt exaggerating and doing nothing but worry her.

Josh and I head out the opposite exit to the others, and he sticks to his words by taking me home. We go the long way and walk slowly, and I really enjoy his company.

"I'm glad to be spending tonight with you, Maya. It's been too long."

"It really has," I sigh, chancing a look at his sparkly eyes in the city lights.

My phone buzzes with a text from Mom: getting a cab, let me know if you don't have a key or door gets locked. Love you be safe xx

I quickly let her know that I'm okay and that I've got my keys in my bag. When I get home, the apartment lights are on inside, a glow spilling out from underneath the door into the dim hallway. I lean against the door, Josh and I speaking in whispers so as not to disturb the neighbours.

"You look gorgeous tonight. I just realised I haven't told you that." Josh compliments, and I giggle uncomfortably, unsure what to follow that up with. So he continues, "It almost seems a shame for the night to end."

"I know. I would ask you to come in, but I'm sure you have places to be tomorrow..." I trail off as I wish there was a way to know exactly what he was thinking. Josh smiles at me, hand running through his hair.

He leans down, and in an instant, but also a moment that seems to slow down time as I take it in, Josh presses his lips softly against my right cheek. As his head pulls back slightly, he whispers "Goodnight, Maya."

I grasp the door handle as I watch him leave, "Night," and wait to catch my breath before walking in. Nobody is on the couch, so I switch off the lights and head to the bathroom, washing off my makeup in the hopes of cooling down my cheeks. I spot myself in the mirror and smile, happiness radiating off of me. Tonight was good. There was no need to be so panicked, because this was a good night, and it had the perfect ending.

A/N: The tone is honestly everywhere in this, sorry.