Love at a Price (re-write?) - a GMW Joshaya fic

Seven

Valentine's Day. Josh's birthday. We're officially back to three years and, while I know that it's stupid to feel sick over it, I'm terrified that he'll pull away again. It's only 2 am, but I can't sleep, and I'm incredibly impatient. Against my better judgement, the judgement clouded by irrational fears, I send him a text – happy birthday! Don't work too hard, have fun – and toss my phone after I hit send. I intend for it to land by my feet, and cringe when a loud thunk follows. I don't want to move, so I leave it on the floor and turn over to stare at the wall while I try to get to sleep.

I can't go to Riley's this morning, just in case he's there; he's probably there. I need to call Riley so that she isn't waiting around for me until the very last minute. My phone starts buzzing from the floor and I pry myself out of bed, wishing that I hadn't dropped it in the first place. My fingers curl around the case and I accept the call quickly, not checking who it is first, as it's about to ring out. Riley's voice cracks over the call before clearing up.

"Hey, can you come a little earlier today?" She asks. She sounds distracted, like she's pacing around her bedroom.

It's only 6.30; I'm so tired after a sleepless night that nothing makes much sense and I can't separate my thoughts from what will actually come out of my mouth. I shake my head to wake up a little and run a hand through my hair, somehow still damp from my late night shower. "I guess. I mean, I wasn't sure I should come this morning..."

"Why? Oh, Josh?" I hum, letting her know immediately where my head's at. "God, Maya, please just come today. He probably isn't even up yet. I need you. Bay window."

I pull on my shoes, securing my phone against my shoulder. "What's wrong, honey?"

"Nothing. I don't know, I just need to see you, Maya."

"I'll be there in ten." It will probably take 15.

I try so hard to ignore the pain in my ankle as I walk to her apartment. If I climb up to the bay window, I've got no chance of running into Josh and making things awkward. But I stop dead at the bottom of the fire escape, drawing in my breath. This is why I don't try hard in PE, it only ever leads to injury; especially when I'm forced to run two miles on the field in drizzling rain, surrounded by pushing and shoving teenagers. I'd risk further injury going straight to the window; I need to detour through their living room.

I jab my finger into the callbox, "Maya," I announce, waiting. If nobody lets me in, I'll just call Riley and let her know.

One. Two. Three.

I pull my phone back out, thumb pressing against Riley's contact, but a loud buzz follows the door unlocking, so I slide it back down into my pocket. I ride up in the elevator, make my way down the hall, and knock on the front door before simply opening it. As soon as I do, I know that he's there.

Josh is hovering over the couch when I poke my head through, about to sit back down. He smiles at me, and my heart flutters. "Hey, Maya. Since when do you use doors?" He jokes.

"Today apparently. Um, I twisted my ankle falling a couple of days ago." I nod awkwardly, leaning against the door to close it. "Happy birthday, by the way."

He nods, thanking me and his smile becomes warmer as I walk past him. There's a crash and a yells from Auggie's bedroom, followed by Cory groaning and Topanga calling out in concern. Auggie rushes out of his bedroom, bumping against me as his dad chases him with a bright red shirt. I shake my head, always amazed at how varied the morning can be in the Matthews' home before stopping outside Riley's bedroom.

I tap on her door before walking in, and Riley is curled up small in the middle of the bay window. "What happened?" I ask, wrapping my arms around her shoulders as I sit beside her.

She sighs loudly, scrubbing at her eyes. She goes to answer me but is cut off by a yawn. "Sorry. I couldn't sleep last night." I raise my eyebrows a fraction, not wanting to interrupt, just wanting to give Riley all the time in the world to figure out what to say. "Maya... I think I made a mistake."

"A mistake?" I echo, pulling back to read her body language. "What did you do?"

"Nothing exactly wrong... I don't know for sure, I'm too scared to find out."

I squeeze her a little tighter, sight trained on her profile as she turns away from me. "You can tell me anything, Riley. What do you need to find out?"

Riley breathes deep and slow, fingers clasping onto her knees as she struggles to find the words. Tears well in her eyes as she opens her mouth to speak, "I need a pregnancy test..."

I don't say anything, I can't say anything. Why would she... when did she... what? "You're joking, right?" Stupid question, why is that the first thing I say?

"I wish I was, Maya." Her eyes shut tightly, tears spilling out onto her cheeks. "I hate to do this today, but tonight... I'm seeing Farkle, y'know? And he can read me so easily, and I just... I need to be sure, either way."

"I know. Should we go buy one now or wait until after school?"

"Let's go now," She whispers, brown hair falling over her face and her head collapses into my shoulder. "I thought we were careful," Riley's voice wouldn't be audible if it weren't right beside my ear, and it breaks me to see her so vulnerable. I love her, and to think about her world turning completely upside down...

I brave myself for the fire escape. I have to do it for Riley, I can't make her face her family while she's in a state. For all we know, there's nothing to worry about. She stops me as I go to crawl out. "Is your foot better?"

"It's fine, honey."

"No, it's not. Come on, I can get Josh to take us somewhere on his way out."

"Only if you're sure." I check, and Riley nods her head, stifling another yawn.

-- Sorry that it took a little while, especially considering the short update last time --