The True Luna

Fifteen. In Which A Question Is Answered.

I think I am dying.

My throat is scratchy, chalky, so dry that I can hear the dust in it move with every breath. It only gets worse.

My mouth is open; deadness filling my lungs. Dead earth. It comes in waves, falling down, settling, then falling again.

I can't move. The coldness of it has drained my energy. I can't even open my eyes.

I am being buried alive.

No. I can barely be considered alive right now.

I am as dead as the earth being forced down my throat.

I cannot see anything, only darkness. As long as you can see the darkness...

I don't feel safe.

You are safe, Joti.

Joti. Don't give them anything.

Spine straight, Joti. Shoulders back.

Don't let anybody look down on you.

Joti. Am I really Joti anymore? How can I be the same little girl I was all those years ago?

I am not her. She was strong, and brave. Even my magic is failing me now.

I am nothing but the shell for a wolf.

The dirt is caking my tongue.

Joti...

Spine straight. Shoulders back. Don't let...

Safe. You are safe, Joti.

"Joti."

Spine. Shoulders. Safe.

"Joti. Wake up."

My eyes open and the darkness goes away. For once I am relieved to see it gone.

The monster stretches languidly, purring under the gaze of the Alpha. I still don't know his name.

"You owe me an answer."

"What?" I murmer, pushing myself up. I go to smooth out my hair, but stop myself. The monster wants to preen us for him, but I do not let her.

"It's the evening," he says, gesturing towards his side.

I follow his arm with my eyes, seeing a window with thick curtains bordering it and a golden sun dipping between the trees. We are in a room, not underground.

This earth is dead.

I lean over the side of the bed, eying the ground cautiously. It is wooden. I suppose it will do for now.

I frown as he sits on the bed, pressing against the side of my leg.

"I've been thinking," he starts, turning so he is looking down at me. I can see up his nose. "I've only got two questions and I don't want to waste them."

"And?" My heart thumps so loud I am sure a human could hear it. The side of the monster's mouth lifts, exposing teeth, warning me to keep us under control.

"I assume if I ask what you are, you'll give me some half-answer or a word I don't understand." He is right.

"So?" I prompt him on. I want to clean myself.

"Precisely, what can you do that humans can't?" He looks smug. He should be. He knows there is no way of me avoiding this one.

Fuck. If this is only the first question, I dread to think of tomorrow night's.

Why does he look good even from this angle? This is unfair.

"I..." I pause, thinking of the best way to say this. "I can feel the earth. I can hear her whispering. I can sense what she senses. I can draw on her power to manipulate the shadows, craft them into the forms of wolves. I can force my conciousness to inhabit the minds of the shadow wolves, essentially becoming them. I can..." What else can I do with this dead earth?

Nothing. She is useless. She will kill me.

"I can't do anything else here."

"So you're not a werewolf?" His voice is low. It warms me up.

"What?" I feign confusion. I am tired. I want a wash.

"You didn't mention being able to physically change form."

No. Because I can't. My body can, the monster can, but I can't. "I guess I didn't."

His face turns away from me. "What would you have said? If I had asked you what you are?"

I am Joti Prithaya. I am the person who holds the record for being the youngest sorcerer to ever use magic. I am the one who killed the Overseer on my first scent-day. I am the first from my island to leave Yindrahji. I am more than this man will ever be able to comprehend.

"I can tell you tomorrow, if that's your second question. If not, I guess you'll never know." I smile slightly, although he can't see it.

At least, I was all of those things.

I am nothing when lay on a dying planet.