Today I found accidentally a photo of you smiling. Without having understood it I started smiling back. I just thought that when I see you again I will fall back in your arms and kiss you. That was only to remember your last words. The ones that had me hurt. That no matter how hard it may sounds, you are not interested in me anymore, independently of your relationship. Almost a year has passed since we had been together. I have not seen you in 11 months. I just miss you so fucking much. Before August said goodbye, I was sure about one thing. That the last week of our summer would be the one to get marks on my soul till the next summer comes. And now here we are. July 10th. 24 August was our first day..Last year..I knew it that this summer I won't be able to sit on the same couch with you without being like we used to be..I knew it would hurt like hell..And now it is almost here. I need help. It is driving me crazy and I cannot help it or handle it. There is something holding me back that prevents me from falling in love with someone and at the same time having him forgotten. I know that no matter how many will come and go I will always feel the same way for you and nobody will manage to fill your place. I want to kice every single moment with you and I want so much my first time at everything new for me to be with you. Every achievement and everything that I succeed in I want to share it with you but you are not here and you are not going to. You are just a memory. A happy, loving, wonderful memory. You will always be in my head. I will always think about you even though I am gonna feel dead inside. I feel like nothing has sense without you in my life. I thought that it was not that hard to get over someone, especially by being with someone else, until today. Well, I have done every single thing to get over you but nothing has worked so far. If I knew what is needed to survive I would do it. But the only thing I know is that I know nothing.
