Fireheart

Chapter 2

On the first night, I counted the dead infants.

Then, I counted the toddlers.

I lost track, so I had to draw tally marks. Before I knew it, I had covered the entire room in scratches, and my fingertips were raw and bleeding.

seventeen in district five, Ba Sing Se has…….

On the second night, I slammed and shook the door until the nurses burst in, in fear of me trying to hang myself or something. I didn’t, at least not this time, and asked for a pen and paper. They didn’t give me any, so I slapped two of them and slammed the door shut, sinking down in loathing.

On the third night, after refusing to come out for dinner for two continuous nights, I was dragged outside by Mia, one of the muscular head maids, and she hoisted me up on her beefy shoulder, with me kicking and screaming. She plopped me down in the seat of the dinner table, next to a smugly smiling Zuko.

“Been thinking about him lately, little sister?” Zuko grinned. I tried to stomp on his foot or even burn his food a little, but my muscles were just too stiff and tired.

“Shut up!” I had snapped at him, though I vaguely noticed a pair of amused, olive-green eyes darting up quickly to look at me.

Haru.

        That creep.

I ate in silence for the rest of the dinner session. When Zuko left the table, I motioned for my maids to leave me alone, sitting at the table. They hesitantly looked at each other, before nodding and trotting out obediently. Haru, guessing that I wasn’t going to talk to him, also started getting up, but as he walked past my chair at the end of the table, I grabbed his stupid flabby arm with my talons.

“516,789,100.”

“Excuse me?”

“I said, five-hundred and sixteen million, seven-hundred and eighty-nine thousand, and one hundred. You want that in another language, idiot?”

He smiled- Smirked, more like, and leaned down.

“You do count.”

Only after you told me to, meathead.

“Of course I don’t. I just happen to have a very organized notebook.” I averted my eyes from him. Dear Agni, don’t let anybody, especially that blockhead in front of me, see those tally marks.

He stared at my fingers, and I curled them inwards.

“Why are your fingers bleeding?” He inquired teasingly.

“I get bored!” I shouted in my own defense.

“Bored of drawing tally marks?” He grinned smugly.

Oh no, it’s the secret “T” word, abort mission, abort mission!

“Fine, you win! So what if I get so damn bored that I draw the tally marks?” I yelled, slapping his arm.

“Oh, are you sure you’re just bored??! Because I’m pretty sure that there’s a little bit of guilt in there, Azula!”

My head pounded once again.

“How about you shut the hell up and get me a glass of water and some aspirin? My head hurts like crazy.” I snapped.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I don’t get water and aspirin to rude, spoiled girls who snap at me after I try to be nice to them! Neither do I fetch stuff for insane, deranged, crazy females who tried to murder my whole nation!” He hissed, and slammed his hands on the table. I almost felt like apologizing, but I couldn’t bring myself to say ‘sorry’, especially to that blithering idiot. My dignity always stuck in my throat when I was forced to say sorry, the dreaded ‘S’ word.

There it was. The ugliest of all ugly words, the “I” word. Insane. I felt the corners of my golden, catlike eyes go moist, and I angrily rubbed at them with the back of my hands.

I grabbed the scarlet and gold tablecloth and mopped at my face, trying to wipe off the…. tears? When did I ever have tears. Oh right. Now.

“Just go away, Haru. Leave me alone.” Oh hell, now my voice was going all shrill and high-pitched, and it came as a strangled sob. The tears would fall any minute now.... He was quiet for moments; though it felt like hours, and I cried until my eyes went dry. I didn’t want to be alive, face my fears. Suddenly, I snapped up, much to my own surprise and screeched, “You know what!? You want my sorry!? You want Insane?! Here! have it! I’m sorry, Okay? What else did you come here for, apart from gloating in my face?! Don’t you have business with Zuko?!” I knocked over a candle and a plate, setting fire to the chair. Haru looked up at me in fear, then the fear evolved into a slow, calm, expression. Slowly, he pulled me into his arms- I didn’t object. I couldn’t. The guilt and fear had gotten to me. He waved at the slight flame, and it died out almost immediately. Probably extinguished with dust.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called you that.” He gently stroked my hair soothingly. I didn’t have the energy to slap him, but should I have been thinking straight, he would have quite a few fractured bones- no, limbs, to worry about.

But for now, I just really wanted to get in bed and not worry about anything at all. Not stupid Haru, no stupid Zuko, and especially not about the 516, 789, 100 children that I…..

Killed.

Dear Agni, it hurt to even think about it.