Hate-Love/ A CanEm Story

Part 28 Random Conversions

Sanem POV

My full morning went in over thinking mode as I was really not sure how to head this marriage. After surfing internet search engines about how to work on a marriage, I was more perplexed. Its not that there were no answers online but the fact that Can & my marriage is the most strange one has even made the search engines clueless!! I read somewhere that love is the key of strong marriage, another place I read its intimacy, sex and heating things up in bed, another says friendship, and another says all of this!! How on earth am I going to get all of this in my marriage?
Friendship, love & intimacy, well that's all missing between me & Can!! Let's start with love, from the time we have met we have an unquenchable hate for each other, so its better I tick it off my list. Next, intimacy, hmm, that's a good one but even more confusing to me. Its like, I loved Leo but there was no sex before marriage and here with Can there is marriage but no love so definitely I am not going to go intimate with him, at least not for the time being. About heating things up in bed, I can praise myself I almost did that by adding flammable vodka on his bed, had I lit the matchstick, forget about heating things up I would have practically fired up his bed!!! Laughing at my own joke, I continue to think seriously again. About sex Can too seems cool with our distance so that's comfortable for me. Going to the next one, OK, friendship, have Can and me ever been in friendly terms, wait why should I take the blame, I have certainly tried to be in friendly terms with him but it's him who behaves like an enemy most of the time. Maybe I should consider talking to him about having a peace treaty between us. But its him who declares war even after I summon ceasefire. Uff!! Right now our relationship sounds very much like wars in a history lesson!!! Removing even friendship off my list,I realize I am heading nowhere. I am confused, lost, & clueless. And when I am all these three I do only one thing put on party songs on high volume and clean. With a clueless mind the immediate thing I need to do is keep my hands busy, changing my clothes I start with the kitchen, its already clean but I wipe everything again nevertheless. Then the bedroom and lastly the living room all the while dancing to the music. Taking out all the books from the shelves I climb up with a help of a stool, wiping the higher shelves I can feel a grip on my bare waist. Startled at first but calm down as I see its Can. But why is he carrying me off the stool? Pulling me to him I can feel my stomach on his chest, and I saw him staring at my bust, at least not in a lecherous way, turning his head to look away I could see he regretted his action. Looking at my face he puts me down suddenly, twirling me gently. He offered me to dance and I obliged, his dance moves were good and well coordinated. With a peppy number playing next I saw Can overjoyed, he wanted to dance to the number, nodding at him I paused the song as I saw him pushing the sofa back. Helping him we go back to dancing, laughing along the way. As we were dancing it strikes me, right now I need to just go with the flow in this marriage. As we follow each others steps I realize that we have to work in coordination to each other in this marriage. The songs or music is like life making us dance on its tune, and when we dance in sync to one another with rhythmic movements then we find the song even more lively. But the whole thing that has kept this dance beautiful is our spontaneous reactions. The same with our marriage, Can and me will have to be in rhythm and sync with spontaneous fellowship. Now I have got a gist of what to do and that is to do nothing at all!! Because if we have to work in coordination that means we have to work this out together in harmony. Now the word harmony and Can don't fit together, let me recollect the last time we did something together in harmony. Ah yes, signing our marriage register was the only thing then it was back to him and his mood swings. Even now we are having fun together but suddenly something will click in his brain and he will turn into a bull. Our marriage is like a two way street which has Can always overtaking onto my side and breaking traffic rules while he expects me to take the ticket!!! Babaanne should always tell me that compromise & adjustments are inevitable in any marriage and its mostly the wife who does it. I have no issues with compromising or adjusting but the fact that Can Divit is my opponent, I don't like that I have to bend down while he can have his way. Well Can Divit, its either going to be my way or the highway!!! And with time he will learn to accept that! So I will let everything be as it is, if Can behaves properly with me I will treat him the same but if he goes nasty he sure is going to burn his fingers for messing around with me! One thing I realized just now, is that we never talk it out to each other, but Can can wear out my patience quickly with his annoying stubbornness and hyperactive anger. But I with try my best to talk to him. Let's see how it turns out.