Hate-Love/ A CanEm Story

Part 51 Turmoil

Sanem POV

We both were just staring into each others eyes, with rage and brokenness. I had literally no energy left in me, all this just drained me out and most of all it hurts, and it hurts bad to see him looking at me with such hate and distrust. How can Can think this way of me, doesn't he know me? Does his heart really believe I can do this? Why can't he trust me? Seeing him adamant gets me even more angry, going into our bedroom I get my phone, wallet and jacket, then heading to go to babaanne's. As I go to open the door I feel Can's hand over mine.

You aren't going anywhere! Can growls

There is no reason left for me to stay here Can! I reply looking at him in the eye.

I said you are not going anywhere!! Your going to stay close to me! Can shouts

Close! I laughingly mock; The distance we are close to each other right now is 6 inches, Can but we are yet so far away, so far that its become unreachable!! I love you, I love you freaking too much but I will not allow you to humiliate me or my love for you! I love you so much but I won't be able to live a life WITH you in which you insult my respect & character!! You have wounded me very deeply, Can. Your words have stabbed my heart like a dagger. I don't care what videos or photos you have seen but you had no right to insult me like this without fully checking if these so called proofs are really true! I have no idea why Yesim has lied against me, neither am I going to confront her because at the end of the day its not Yesim but you who matters most to me and you have failed me and whatever faith I had in you! You have betrayed my trust and played with my emotions!!! I asked you before to tell me your reason for marrying me but still you denied. Had you told at least I would have not allowed my myself to fall in love with you! Saved myself from getting hurt once again. Though even I didn't tell you my reason of marrying but when you did ask I told you the entire truth, not even once have I lied to you! I always stayed true to our marriage, true to you; I paused crying then sighing continued; I don't even know if whatever I'm saying right now is making any difference or you believe me or not but I will ask you again Can trust me!

Looking at Can's face, I see him in tears too. But just staring at me, turning I open the door.

Don't go! He whispers

Why should I stay? I ask after getting no reply, I close my eyes trying to remove my tears to get a clear vision, opening my eyes I walk out of the threshold of my home!!

---

Stepping out of the gate, I luckily get a taxi immediately. Once I reach mom's place, I take a deep breath before ringing the bell as I don't want to break down in front of them. Opening the door Babaanne is stunned to see me.

Butterfly, what happened? Is everything OK? Have you been crying? Baby, answer me; babaanne was worried.

Can I come in? I asked

Is that even a question to ask Sanem? Babaanne said pulling me in and into her embrace

What happened? Sanem, baby what's wrong? Mom came down the stairs

I need time alone, please! I say running straight into my bedroom closing the door locking it and collapsing on the floor furiously trying to wipe my ongoing and nonstop tears, but they just don't stop. Curling up behind the door I just hug myself crying as I hear mom & babaanne asking me to open the door. After what seem like hours, my eyes, head and heart aches crying, then I just stare at space, feeling totally hopeless, betrayed, hurt, and worn out. I don't know when my eyes gave way to slumber.

Jerking my head suddenly forward I open my eyes slowly and realize its morning. My head is aching bad, I wobble getting up, looking back at my surroundings I remember last night's fight. I can suddenly feel a set of fresh tears forming. Opening my door I walk into the bathroom, splashing water onto my face continuously and then look at the mirror. Seeing my reflection, I just stare at myself, what is gone into me, why am I so broken by all this. My eyes are red and face totally exhausted, overall I hate the fact that I'm feeling terribly vulnerable. As Can's words replay in my head over and over again, I just cry and get angry at myself for crying at the same time. I have never felt so helpless my entire life.