The Author

Idk what I'm doing but here's chapter 1 (look they're playing Mario cart)

"Wait what are we doing?" Ryder asked. It was a sunny day in Etirwville, a village that consisted entirely of his and Jayji's house's and nothing else. He looked over at his friend Jayji as she clicked away at her Wii remote before back at the T.V screen.

"We're playing Mario kart." Jayji replied as she released the banana peel onto the track, tripping up Donkey Kong behind her.

Ryder huffed as he drove up a ramp and leaped over a pool of lava, "No, no. I got that. I mean what's your plan thingy?"

Jayji swerved around the corner, "Well, the prologue was pretty dark-"

"The what?"

"And this book is supposed to be lighthearted and fun-filled-"

"Book?" He asked as he was splattered with squid ink.

"So I was thinking we could gather up all of The Authors-"

"The who?"

"O.C's and we could just hang out and do shit." Jayji continued.

He stared at her as his car was lifted back onto the track. "I didn't understand half the things you just said."

Jayji cursed as she was hit by a lightning bolt. "Well I did so it's okay."

"Jayjiiiiiii." Ryder whined as he took over 10th place.

"Rydeeeeeer." She whined back as she took over 1st.

Ryder sighed as he released the red shell. "Fine, okay, whatever. Who's first on the list?"

"No one."

"What?" Ryder asked as he stopped himself from falling off the track again.

Jayji wiggled around on the couch until she was upside down. "There's no one on the list yet. They'll just kind of appear as we do this story."

Ryder violently slammed into Baby Peach as she attampted to over take him. "Then why the heck would you suggest we do that?!"

"So that the readers understand the basic plot of why we go do random shit." Jayji said grinning as she saw the finish line coming up ahead.

"Can you- can you speak english please. Just for once." He said as his car slammed into a mystery box. It tumbled in the corner of his screen before landing on an icon. Ryder grinned, this would be perfect, he was in fifth and she was in first.

"Sure- Wait." Jayji said as she too noticed what icon Ryder had got.

"No! Please I'm sorry! Don't do it!" She begged.

Ryder smirked, "Fuck. You." And then he released it. Jayji could only watch as the blue shell smashed into her car and sent her flying. Ryder flew over the finish line in first place and burst into deep evil cackles. Jayji could only state in open mouthed horror.

"Betrayal at its finest." She sobbed as she summoned a bowl of chocolates and stuffed them into her mouth. Her winning streak was over.

Suddenly an alarm started going off, Ryder waved a hand and got up.

"Op. That's my alarm for my pizza. I got to go." He said standing up.

Jayji gasped and rubbed the fake tears off her face, "Can I have some?!"

"I thought you didn't like pinaple on pizza?"

"I don't." Jayji frowned, "Oh well. Next time then." She got up and walked Ryder outside before waving him goodbye because that's tHe POLITE THING TO FUCKING DO.

He waved back before entering his house across the road. Jayji looked up and down the street (which was really a road that stretches as far as the eye could see in either direction with fields of grass on either side kind of like when you make a road in a flat Minecraft world and nothing else) before turning to the camera that was suddenly next to her.

"Alright. Now that he's gone let me explain a bit more." She said as she went back inside to her kitchen and got out a can of Pringles. "This story is going to have us doing random shit. There will be a basic plot line and O.Cs from other stories here. And all author notes from other stories will be here." She crunches don the Pringles thoughtfully, "But don't worry that will rarely ever happen."

She walked into the living room and grabbed the remote to change the T.V from the Wii console to regular T.V. Then she pulled out her phone.

"Not intrested?" She asked, "Okay. Let's try this. Ahemajdnsidba"

Suddenly her voice changed into the kind you only ever hear in movie trailers,

"In world where darkness reined and fanfiction ran wild. One Author created several O.Cs to battle the strange and cliche. As they travel, learning new skills and making new friends, the dark decides to rear it's super fugly head and they must battle to keep it at bay. Only through the power of wacky friendship, stupid plot twists that don't make sense, and sudden Author notes will they succeed. So follow their randomly updating story in 'The Author'."

She looked up from her phone to the camera and blushed, "No I didn't just read the blurb for this book shut up."