I don’t really feel alive for some reason. Days passed like they always did, nothing changed. I’m tired already, enough. I want to fucking end this. She thought as she pressed the steel knife onto her hands just waiting to slide through her porcelain skin. The steel stared at her lifeless eyes.
It wasn’t like this all the time, there was a moment she cherished everything but now she lost all the sense of living in her why? She does not know too, maybe because nothing changed she saw herself as a failure who couldn’t stand up, everything she does tends to falter, though her family was loving and her friends was kind it wasn’t enough, there was nothing to live for, for herself, the truth settled in one day and now she determined to end this putrid life. Don’t get her wrong she tried to look for something that will make her life meaningful but alas she never found it.
Maybe if she waited the sign she asked God to give her she’ll have something to live for but she was impatient, not wanting to live another endless day she’ll commit a sinful thing but will it free her from the depths of hell she living? Will it suffice her thirst for something out of norm?
Maybe I’m just bored. She thought silently then a smile a very sarcastic smile drawn from her face as she slum to her seat and drop the knife. What kind of human am I, if boredom was the cause of my demise, shall I write a letter explaining the cause of my suicide? My love ones do not deserve this. She knows, that’s why she hesitates. She does not fear death in fact she welcomes it, she does not crumple from the face of eternal damnation she deserves it but what she fear the most is what she will be leaving, the sorrow. She let out a little laugh despite of herself, she knows she’s deeply love but the love for oneself she just, how to put this in to words? Lack?
She picked up the knife and placed it back to her desk and look at the mirror and said “I used to love you, used to cherished you but now I can’t even look at you properly without thinking of wanting to end you” she then fall onto her bed and waited sleep to come but will it?
YOU ARE READING
Im a tiny being in a humongous earth
AdventureAll she wanted to do is to end things without hurting her love ones, so, she set out in a journey to find something meaningful to make her change how she viewed life. to make her feel alive once again.
