Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
he'd met her for the first time when the winter was first beginning to bleed into the start of spring, the semi-chilled weather of los angeles fading gradually into a growing warmth that'd only keep escalating. she had eyes the color of emeralds and hair the color of coal, cut an inch or so below her chin and bangs blunt across her forehead. she'd mesmerized him from the moment he first saw her.
they'd met at a friend's party. she'd been standing with stassie and david had been filming the blonde as she danced with zane and they'd met eyes, david and the girl. she'd given him a look that night, one that he'd never forget. she'd tipped her head ever so slightly and the corner of her mouth tilted up as she looked right into his eyes as if she knew every thing about him already.
"she sounds like trouble," was a comment that jason had made when david had mentioned the girl, a concerned smile on the older man's face. he'd only heard of her in passing and now that david was so head over heels for a girl he'd never even spoke to, jason was understandably a little worried.
"i'm sure she is," david had answered, grinning. "i don't mind." and he didn't at first, because the next time he saw her he introduced himself and that's the night he learned that she had a tattoo right under her left breast and a tiny scar on the back of her thigh.
trouble, apparently, translated into drugs. a joint shared between the two one saturday night on his patio came first. he'd smoked a few times, and so it was nothing new, really, until she inhaled the smoke and then leaned in, pressing her mouth against his and blowing the smoke between his lips. the occasional smoke turned into the girl popping colored pills at parties, david watching.
it wasn't exactly his scene, drugs, but he was infatuated with the girl and really everything about her, and so he didn't say anything even when she started doing more and acting less herself. he'd found her in the bathroom once with a red nose and bloodshot eyes but he hadn't thought much of it until he saw the white lines on the counter, a rolled up dollar bill in her hand and a concerned look on her face.
the drugs weren't exactly his favorite, his addiction being the dark-haired girl with forests for eyes and he figured that just might be the death of him. drugs were hers, though, so much that they consumed her whole. hes not quite sure when it happened, but the warmth that he'd felt when they'd first met had began to turn into a burning so intense that david thought it could possibly burn down everything they'd worked to make together.
its nothing short of unbelievable, how quickly things changed between them. the house they'd come to share felt less and less like home everytime david went in. started to feel more like a prison than anything, like four walls that kept him so close but still so far away from her.
she's sitting on the couch with a blank expression, her eyes faraway as they gaze straight ahead, her lips not smiling nor frowning. he's watching her and there's a frown on his lips and that little crease on his forehead that he gets when he's worried. she hasn't said anything since she's gotten home, besides a mumble of her saying she just wants to sleep, a request that david didn't let go through.
he sits down beside her and finally her eyes shift up to meet his. they're duller than they used to be. her cheekbones are more prominent, her cheeks less full, her once bright-red lips now a dusty color and so chapped that david wonders if they hurt. her skin is cold as he reaches over to brush a strand of hair out of her eyes, palm of his hand grazing over her face. she's cold enough to have him wondering if she's surviving at all. "you have to stop," he whispers, voice hoarse. her dull eyes seem to flicker, her cheeks momentarily filled with color again, that rosy pink that used to have david weak at the knees.
he wonders where it all went wrong. when she got like this. how he didn't see it coming. how he can fix it. drugs always seem so fun, until the high comes to an end. she's teetering off the edge of sanity and her only anchor is david as his hand slips down to grab hers, fingers intertwining. "i need a drink," she whispers, dull eyes meeting his.
david shakes his head. she lets out a quiet noise, tries to stand up. "i'm serious," he says, his hand squeezing hers tight enough to hurt. "i can't lose you."
he's already losing her though. he can see it in the way her green eyes twist back in a roll instead of a proper reply. he can see it in the way the color of her skin has faded, in the way her skin clings to her bones. he's losing everything, though it seems like it's been happening for far longer than he'd originally thought. david swallows the lump in his throat. he's losing himself in every sip of alcohol she takes, every hit from a blunt, every pill she pops.
"why?" it's a soft question coming from his lips. she could ask what he means but she doesnt have to. she already knows. why do you do it? she makes no movement to look at him, just stares ahead blankly, tongue coming out to wet her chapped lips.
he doesn't expect an answer, really. but he gets one--in the form of a laugh. dry and humorless, the sound sinking into his skin and settling in his stomach, unease washing over him. "feels good," she whispers.
theres a beat of silence and then her cold skin brushes over his, her fingers brushing over his hand. she leans over, resting her head on his shoulder. she smells like smoke and alcohol and vaguely of the perfume he'd gotten her for her birthday months ago. "honey," he whispers, raising hesitant fingers to brush her hair behind her ear, moving her bangs out of her eyes. it takes everything in him not to scream at her, not to let the anger bubbling in his stomach take over. takes everything in him not to yell and cry and beg her to stop before he loses the only thing that matters to him anymore. her. but her skin is on his and she's warming up under his touch and suddenly he can't say anything at all.
"dave," her mouth moves around the name, her eyes meeting his. he doesnt answer, just looks into her eyes and tries to see the person that she'd been when they first met, when they'd first fallen in love. "why do you always stay?"
he thinks over his answer for a moment, tries to balance out the nasty taste in his mouth. "because," he says, squeezing her hand. "it's not living if it's not with you." the only reply she ca think of makes her throat burn and her eyes water. she wonders when she let herself get like this. when everything changed. when drugs became less of an occasional hobby to a full time job. she leans in to kiss his mouth to distract her from what she already knows.
it's quite ironic how truthful his answer is. he doesn't want to live without her, and she doesn't want to live without the thing tearing them apart, destroying both their lives. for david, it's not living without her. but for her, she doesn't think she wants to live without the drugs.
a/n
this chap sucks but i tried,,, dont do drugs kiddies (obvs this is based of the 1975 song)
