The life I live (nigga it's real)

Cold Hearted And Ain't Shit To It.

B.J

I walked into the house after spending the night over Ryan's catching up with Nana. My mother sat on the couch with one of her many men smoking a cigarette. I took notice of all the empty beer bottles and shook my head. She had my living room smelling like ass, cigarettes, and beer. Smellin' like somethin straight off  Chicago Ave. I could feel my anger instantly begin to rise as I hollered my little sister's name. She ran down the steps and into my arms, I gladly embraced my 16-year-old sister in my arms placing my head on top of hers.

She pulled back and looked at me.

"Why you ain't come home yesterday?" she asked removing her arms from around me.
"Momma had company and I was scared." she self consciously wrapped her arms around her self starring behind me at the man who sat on the couch.

"I'm sorry meme, I was visitin' Nana, as for you, you kept your door locked right?" I asked looking at her. She finally took her eyes offa momma and her man and looked at me.

"Yes, just like you told me," she said.

"Then you should be cool then, as for momma; don't worry about her, I'm finna take care of that right now," I said she took that as her cue to leave, shit was bound to get ugly. Without saying a word I walked over and yanked the short lanky dude up by his collar, he was lanky as fuck and I opened my door and threw him out on his ass with ease, literally.

"Jordan Brown! You will not be disrespecting my company!" My momma jumped up and got in my face, I was instantly disgusted with the smell of beer and cigarettes and whatever else she been smoking on her breath.

"You can get the fuck out too, you wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for meme to be honest," I said shoving her out right along with that bum ass nigga slamming my door afterward.

And it was true, I didn't give a fuck about my momma, and I only cared for a few.
My self not included; I could die today and be content with it. A nigga could press his steel to my temple and I 'd laugh in his face and tell him to do it, shit I'd do it myself if it wasn't for meme.
I no longer gave a fuck. I didn't fear death which played a huge part in why I was in this drug game. I liked the feeling I got when bullets were flying, I liked the adrenaline rush I got runnin' from the police. I liked the view of a bullet entering a persons head after pulling the trigger, the way the bullet made a hole right where I aimed, the way the blood splattered; the way their body slumped, Watching the life drain from their bodies as they felt the last surge of breath they'd get; watching their body go lifeless and the life drain from their eyes. It was art to me, and that and my little sister were the only things in this world that made my eyes sparkle.

I was crazy, twisted maybe, but she made me this way and I hated her for it.
From all the nights when I was younger and she was letting them drug-addicted females just like her come up in my room and touch me where no 6-year-old boy should've been touched.

The countless times she'd sold me for drugs to various people.

Constantly beaten, enslaved, and raped by countless different women.

What the fuck was a 7-year-old boy doin' losing his virginity to a 40 sum-year-old woman?

The countless times I wandered home, and was forced to scrub everything clean, cleaning the floors with a toothbrush and pure bleach because I wasn't allowed to touch the mop; and if I did my hands were whipped till I had various cuts then would be turned and forced to still scrub the floors, the bleach burned my hands soooooooo bad i can still feel it.

All the various 'No.' And 'please momma.' As she let various niggas beat my ass like i was a grown man.

Fucking and touching every female walking if they'd let me at the age of 14. More bodies than a dead man, heart beginning to turn cold.

Growing up and hating oatmeal to the point where it made me sick if I ate it because that was all I was fed, But the last straw was when I moved with Ryan and Nana and she pimped Meme out to various niggas for drugs. I would've killed her ass, but Meme has a heart Unlike me.

She'd turned me into a cold-hearted killer and I ain't care to say it, I 'd kill anybody in a split second with no remorse, except for children. I was definitely going to hell, but I 'd already accepted that a long time ago, after laying my first nigga to rest, shit felt so good I been doing it ever since.

I done killed so many people I lost count and I Don't remember half of them, nor do I care to try.

"Yo, Meme!" I yelled up the stairs.

"Huh!" I heard her door open and shortly she appeared at the top of the staircase staring down at me.

"I'm finna slide over by Nana's house again, me and Ryan got business, pack a bag so you can spend a couple of nights wit er, I know you ain't seen her in a while," I said she smiled largely and I smiled back.

"Alright give me thirty minutes to an hour." She said resulting in me looking at her crazy.

"30 minutes! Meme you musta smoked soma momma stash gurl, cause you straight trippin' you got 10 minutes tops and I'm leaving you." I said walking off. I avoided the front room due to the beer bottles and needles lying around and headed to the kitchen instead I took a seat at the island and began to scroll through Facebook, i hated the smell of beer, it reminded me too much of when I was young and weak, the way momma had it set up yesterday, the whole downstairs smelled of that exact smell so i pulled a blunt from my pocket and lit up, I loved the smell of weed so why not. Halfway done with the joint meme appeared at the doorway and i put the blunt in one of my many ashtrays and stood up, leading the way we both got into the car, I connected my phone to the aux and turned to Wiz Kalifah's young and wild and free. As the song began to play I reached over Meme going in the dashboard, I grabbed one of my many already rolled blunts and sparked up, I was set as I started the car and pulled off.

Shortly I found myself high as a kite and parked in front of Ryan's house.

"Tell Ryan to come outside," I said as Meme slid out the car, I watched closely as she walked up to the short pathway and into the house; I definitely had karma coming my way, but I ain't want it to hit Meme and I was gone make sure it didn't.

Shortly Ryan was getting into the passenger seat Meme was previously seated in.

"Follow my Directions we going somewhere else today." I looked over before reaching over and sparking up another blunt.

"Nigga!" Ryan said watching my every move like a hawk. "Get a move on we got other business to handle today." He snapped sounding like a father, this nigga stayed with a stick up his ass and peed on cereal.

"Fuck you nigga, and is you riding or not?" I busted out into a fit of laughter realizing I'd said that comment aloud.

"Till the wheels fall off," I said starting up the car.

I'm so excited about the changes I've been making, I got some epic shit in store for y'all man, but
How y'all feelin' bout the changes so far? How about the brand new B.J? A background behind all o his goofiness and smoking. How y'all feelin' about Ryan? Meme? She's adorable right, how about B.J's mom, just a peak of her since this chapter mainly based on the drastic change in B.J tbh his P.O.V kinda startled me as I was writing it, like damn people like that really exist?

Please excuse all mistakes

Until next time🤗
XxshatinaxX